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Myths and facts about sex and sexuality (3)

 

Hi,

Today, we continue with our pockets of lessons on sex and sexuality as we
try to differentiate between old wife’s tales and what is true. This is the third of the series.    No doubt a lot of factors affect our knowledge and attitude about sex, but we can set things right if we try.    So, here we go!!

Myth:  Is ‘doubling up’ more safe?

Fact:  ‘Doubling up’ refers to the wearing of more than one condom during sex. A dude may wear two (usually) or more condoms with the notion that it will keep him better protected from contracting a Sexually Transmitted Disease. In fact, I was once informed by a young man that he is willing to have sex with a HIV positive partner if the money is good enough. He will simply ‘double up’. The truth is that doubling up is not safe at all. In fact, wearing only one condom is much safer than wearing more at once. This is because the condoms will create friction with each other, making it more likely to break, thereby exposing you to STI and unwanted pregnancy. One condom at a time and per round is your best bet if you want to stay safe.

However, there are other types of ‘doubling up’ that are indeed safer. While the condom remains the only form of birth control that also takes care of disease control, it is not hundred percent guaranteed as it also has a bit if disadvantages too. A female may ‘double up’ on protecting herself against unwanted pregnancy by using an additional birth control method, i.e; combining condom    with a pill or diaphragm. Another form is to combine a male condom with a female condom. Wearing two condoms is a No, No.

Myth:  It is women who infect men with yeast infections

Fact:  This is not entirely true. To assume this would mean that women are born with STIs and transmit it to every male they have sex with. It is true that naturally, there are small amounts of yeasts in the vagina. A vaginal yeast infection however, is an inflammation of the vagina, caused by overgrowth of fungus called Candida Albicans. Irritation occurs when there is too much yeast, thus upsetting the ph balance of the vagina. A man may then get yeast infection from such a woman. But this does    not mean that a woman cannot get same from a man.    A man can also infect a woman with yeast infection. It is simple logic that a man infected with yeast will pass it on to another partner if it is not treated. The fact that it may be asymptomatic may make things pretty tricky as carriers may not even know they have it. Always have yourself tested and treated if you suspect you might be exposed to infections.

Myth:  My partner and I are HIV positive, so we can have unprotected sex

Fact:  Though this may sound okay, but it is not. This is because there are many strains of HIV. To prevent yourself getting infected with another strain, it is better to protect yourself. Besides, there is a chance of you being infected with other STIs if your partner is not faithful to the relationship. That someone already has HIV does not mean they cannot contract other STIs also.

Myth:  Once I take out of the drugs prescribed for my partner, I do not need to go for a personal check

Fact:  Many facts pooh poohs this position. 1. There are many STIs and they need different medications. 2. Since our bodies are different, they may not respond to the same medicines. I.e, your partner might not really respond to the same antibiotics as you. 3. By taking a part of his/her medicine, you have reduced the efficacy of the drugs for both of you as the dosage will be incomplete. Therefore, both of you are not likely to get the necessary cure expected and the infection may keep recurring.    4. It is dangerous to take medicine that are not prescribed for you. Because we all react to things differently, it is important that once a partner is diagnosed of an infection, the other must get him/her tested. Besides, some STIs are often asymptomatic, making it difficult for an infected person to know if he/she is truly infected.

 

Myth:  All gay men have anal sex

Fact:  Not all gay men have anal sex. Like any sexual activity, anal sex is a matter of preference. A gay guy may or may not engage in anal sex. In the same way, anyone can engage in anal sex; be they married, single, man or woman, straight, lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual, and it does not make them gay. Note that having sex is not the only way to show affection for someone and engaging in sexual activities that you don’t like simply to satisfy your partner does not translate into them loving you more.

Myth:  The “morning after” pill causes an abortion.

Fact:  Plan B, also known as the “morning after” pill, is a medication taken for the prevention of pregnancy when one has had unprotected sex. It can be used up to three days or 72 hours after unprotected sex. The main function of the morning after pill is to delay ovulation or prevent the egg from being fertilized. It cannot affect an already fertilized egg which has been implanted in the uterus. Therefore, it cannot be used to terminate an already existing pregnancy. The morning after pill is not the same as RU-486, a pill that causes an abortion. The morning after pill is an over-the-counter drug while the RU-486 is not.

Myth:  A woman can start taking birth control pills right before she’s going to have sex.

Fact:  A young victim of sexual abuse who became pregnant by her older predator once told me that the man told her she could not get pregnant because he had the drug to prevent it. On the two occasions they ‘did it’, they both popped a pill each, so she was surprised that she still became pregnant. My guess is that he was giving her some kind of supplements just to fool her and remove himself from the picture should she become pregnant. Which was exactly what he did.

Popping any birth control pill right before sex will not work!! Birth control pills are made up of a series of hormones that must build up in the body over a period of time to be effective. The pills are meant to be taken in a specific order at about the same time every day. It can take up to one full month (or one full menstrual cycle) for the pill to become completely effective. In fact, doctors often recommend that you use an additional control method in the first weeks of taking the pill. Merely skipping the pills is enough to alter its effectiveness. Do not be deceived!!

Myth: Sex toys are less natural

Fact:  Everyone believes that they desire natural sex. But the truth is that what everyone desires is pleasurable, fulfilling sex. What sex toys do is enable both male and female enjoy more intense and pleasurable sex. There are various designs and types to meet one’s needs and preferences. Plus, they can be used at any time during the act, such as during foreplay, mid sex and after play, especially where one of the partners, (the woman) has yet to reach her peak and the man is done. Sex toys can help you live out your fantasy, just as they can also help you to discover yourself sexually to improve your sex life.    Take for instance the condom which is usually used as a safe sex tool. The condom may also be used in the treatment of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation as it helps to sustain erection and prolongs the sexual act.

Myth: Sex toys are for perverts

Truth:  If a pervert acts out his fantasy on a sex toy, should that be a problem to anyone? I would rather a pervert helps himself or herself out without hurting anyone. In fact, a man who fantasises about raping can save humanity the agony by buying himself a life sized doll he can thrash around as he pleases, rather than attack some innocent women or young girls. Being kinky behind closed doors is also quite normal if you are with a partner or rather a consenting adult. Everyone is entitled to enjoy sex using whatever means or aid is acceptable to them. Besides, what you do in your bedroom is nobody’s business.

Myth: If a woman needs a vibrator to have an orgasm, there’s something wrong with her or her man.

Truth:  This is absolutely not true. What is true is that a sex toy, for instance a vibrator, can make it easier for a woman to become more intensely aroused and reach orgasm quicker. Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm only need to be sexually stimulated more intensely or for a longer period and this, a vibrator can help with. Not every man enjoys going down there with their mouths just as it is not every woman that loves to be given the tongue. So, what fingers and mouth can’t do, the vibrator can, if we let down our inhibitions. A man should learn to have sex the way his woman desires him to, since he can easily reach his peak.

Myth:  Women who have had babies or multiple sex partners become lose below

Fact:  The vagina is elastic. It’s structure will not change simply because a melon sized baby has passed through it. And if it can accommodate the passage of a baby and revert to size, of what effect can a penis be? After childbirth, it takes between six to ten weeks for the vaginal tissues to heal and a little longer for the muscles to regain their tone. The good news is that Kegel exercises will restore the muscles and have you back as good as before.    As women, we must try not to put all the pressure on ourselves. Men also change with age. Science has shown us that as men reach their 30s and higher, the quality of their erection changes, becoming less firm and turgid. The less testosterone they have, the more likely they are to reduce in frequency and performance. So, it may not be entirely about you, but him losing steam. And if either of you should find yourself holding on to the shorter end of the stick, just remember that sexual satisfaction is about intimacy rather than coitus. Your quality of intimacy ought not be determined by vagina muscle tone and quality of erection.

 

 


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