A few weeks ago, my girlfriend of close to two years said she wanted to cool things for a while and have space to work out how she really feels about me. I was very upset, but I agreed.
Only, whenever I turn up at her place to see how she’s coping, we end up sleeping together. This is rather confusing.
Do you think she still cares?
When one partner is unclear about what they really want, it’s confusing all round. The action plan to adopt here is, when a partner asks for space, give them just that, no contact for a set period of time, say a month.
After this period, meet up for conversation in a neutral place like an eatery where neither of you feels at a disadvantage. Then have a “Where are we at now?” conversation, with each of you explaining how you feel and if she still wants time, a maximum of six months.
If she’s still not clear about wanting you, then you have to assume she never will.
This is when to end the relationship. If she wants to try again, however, be clear about the deal- what your new relationship involves, what’s acceptable, what’s not. Otherwise, the same problems will start all over again.