By Janet Adetu

A friend in need is a friend in deed” This is what the popular saying says.

Many times having a friend can surely help you, encourage you, nurture you, direct you, and comfort you. Some people are lucky, they can boast of having a BFF, best friend forever, while others will tell you that they have been burnt many times by so called friends.

I have met many who still struggle to mix and mingle among a crowd of total strangers, this hinders any chance of cultivating a relationship, building acquaintances or even becoming a future friend. Some have said confidence is an issue within themselves, the fear of rejection; scrutiny and criticism have also been linked to this introversive nature. It does take an open mind, free personality, elements of boldness and tenacity to reach out to others and purposely decide to make some connection or the other. The irony of life is that you simply cannot live alone you will need people around you to survive.

In today’s world continuous networking has been identified necessaryto become successful in business and in social settings.

  • What does it take to be a true friend?
  • Why are some people best friends?
  • What chemistry needs to exist for friendships to last?
  • How do you keep friends after a huge argument?
  • Are friends to be trusted?

Would you consider yourself a true friend? On many occasions there is a tendency to reveal very confidential information to your friend, at times that which you may not reveal to a close family member. Sadly it is that same highly confidential information that dear friends use against you to bite back or score an unnecessary point, simply to hurt you.

The etiquette of being a friend is an everyday intelligence awareness that should be known to all. Life should not be taken for granted, a friend can open doors for you that you never dreamt of. A friend maybe the only one left where everyone else turns their back on you. A friend maybe that one person that you can talk to at times of needs. In striking a balance during friendship the chemistry is one of warmth, trust and credibility. Friends understand each other, tolerate one another and cherish the other.

To maintain any good friendship requires taking a look at yourself, assessing your strength and weakness, knowing what ticks you off and sets you in a bad mood, being able to control your temper and ultimately respecting yourself before others.

How are you perceived today? How would you like to be perceived? What could you be doing wrong?

Friendship Don’ts

  1. Do not buy your friendship by purchasing expensive gifts to create attention.
  2. Do not rush a friendship, or acquaintance you have just met; take each day slowly and gradually.
  3. Avoid being a pest with persisted phone calls at odds hours of the day.
  4. Friendship is mutual, avoid dominating the relationship.
  5. Respect your friend’s privacy, do not show up unannounced.
  6. As much as you can maintain independence, try not to appear solely dependent on your friend for money, a ride, decision making and so on.
  7. Keep what is confidential, confidential.
  8. Be quick to apologize, remove criticism especially if frequent.
  9. What you don’t like never use it against your friend, talk about it immediately.
  10. Never revenge against a onetime good friend two, two wrongs never make a right.

Friendship Etiquette.


Appreciate your friend whenever you get the opportunity, simple times like birthdays, anniversaries, special global occasion should not be overlooked. Be happy to grow your friendship, learn from the past and be grateful for where you first met to date. What can you do better in the future?


Good friendships only survive with great communication. Distance today is no barrier or excuse, email, phone calls, social media all makes friendship survive. Be open in your communication, be free to share what is relevant. Be mindful of sensitive confidential information, you should be prepared for any consequences and take responsibility for it. Allow communication to be regular but not over bearing frequent.  A simple hello, how are you today can put a smile on a friends’ face.

Live and laugh

Laughing is a value not so often experienced. As a friend have moments of laughter around you, remember the good old days, have fun while living in the mist of the challenges that life’s throws at you. Smiling or laughing makes the world a happier place to live and calve out time for a laugh by doing what you love to do.


What you know try to be free to share new knowledge, acquire some yourself. Networking with friends, broaden your horizons. Learn together to become better, bolder and brighter. Attend business and social events, when possible to keep each other inspired. Go out of your way to share fashion trends, motivational stories, latest news, rising technology, the latest buzz in town.

Challenging times.

Be there for your friends during trials and tribulation. This is not the time to abandon your friend, but show how good a friend you are. Give that should to cry on and lean on. Advise only when solicited or recommend as you deem fit. A true friendship stands the test of time.


Finally being loyal to friends requires trust and respect. In respecting your friends you will all need to respect their spouse, parents, family, property, opinion, views and much more. Respect once given returns back to you.


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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.