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My girl’s gone off sex!

Dear Bunmi,

I’m the general manager of a fairly big supermarket and I’m currently tempted to stray with some of my sales reps as sex with my girl is virtually non-existent. We’ve been together for about three years and at the beginning, we couldn’t get enough of each other.

Much as I didn’t expect that kind of frenzy to last for ever I didn’t bargain for it to be nearly extinct either. It looks as if I’m the one doing all the running and I get nothing in return.

When I try to get her in the mood, she’s full of excuses. She’s either too tired or just doesn’t feel like it. Then we argue and she sulks.

We currently live together and I keep telling her I want our relationship to be full of intimate moments. But there’s still no change. I get plenty of flirtatious remarks from my sales girls, so it would be easy to help myself. I must admit that I’m tempted to, purely for sex.

The fear of mixing business with pleasure is the current hindrance.

Unfortunately, my girl doesn’t think we have a problem. How can I make her realise I need intimacy in our relationship? I’m 30 and she is 27.

Dipo, by e-mail.

Dear Dipo,

Your girl must know in her heart that things aren’t right with your sex life, especially since it was once active. Her problem could be that she’s not sure of how to tackle the problem. Do you think she’s getting enough fun and satisfaction from sex with you?

Maybe it’s about time you put more efforts into pleasing her. Have a talk with her that doesn’t result in a shouting match to see if this can be resolved.

On the other hand, it could also be that you’re focusing on the sex without realising that getting a girl in the mood starts with doing your share of things in the house.

You’re both too young to be having relationship problems, especially in the sex department.


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