BADE and his wife, Joke, were at a friend’s birthday party when Bade playfully patted the bum of a young lady, wriggling her bum to a hot number on the dance floor. “The lecherous look he gave the girl turned my stomach,” Joke confessed. “After 13 years of marriage and three boisterous boys, my figure wasn’t what it used to be. My tummy was saggy and scarred – my boobs hanging like deflated balloons. I also realized that I wasn’t as tight “down below” as I’d once been.
“We seldom made love. Now that I saw the lecherous look on Bade’s face, I realised he’d gone off sex with me, but was up for offers everywhere. Was he having it off with a younger and more attractive girl? It was the wake-up call I needed. I started on a strict diet and did endless pelvic floor exercises, splashed out on saucy underwears and wore more daring clothes to try to entice my husband, but he seemed just as uninterested.
“What’s wrong with you?” I yelled at him one night when he didn’t feel like having sex – again. “Nothing!” he snapped back, “you’re the one with the problem – you’re insatiable!”
“I was shocked. Insatiable? When we hadn’t made love for ages? My efforts to improve my figure began yielding dividends though, and I got complimented right, left and centre. But was Bade happy for me? The love-making dwindled further until I became totally frustrated. The love was there, but I needed much more than companionship. I needed passion and fulfilment too. But there I was with a sex bomb’s body – and the sex life of a nun.
“In the end I just ignored him, intent on enjoying the new healthy me. So when Jude, one of Bade’s classmates that’d stayed friends over the years started complimenting the new me, I lapped it up. He flirted outrageously with me and I didn’t discourage him. And when he started turning up at my office and giving me lunch, it made me feel like a teenager. He was so kind and sweet, but best of all, he found me irresistible. It was inevitable I ended up in his house. A divorced father of four, he’d sworn off marriage. The first time with him was like ages since I had sex. Falling into bed with him, we romped like rabbits, delirious with lust. I made the most of my opportunity to be with him – and I glowed once again. Then disaster struck. We were making love this fateful day, when I heard my
husband’s booming voice calling out to his friend! Jude clambered off me. The bedroom door was not locked – there was no need to – and Jude hurried to open the door, blocking the entrance. He was stark naked. He obviously thought that seeing him naked, Bade
would get the message he was busy and beat it. But no such thing happened. Bade was obviously excited at what he saw and wanted to know who Jude’s catch was. They’d obviously been that mischievous with each other and the more Jude protested, the more determined he was.
“I made a mad dash for the toilet and locked myself in. But Bade had seen my shoes and the clothes I left the house in that morning. He accused his friend of sleeping with his wife and he denied it profusely. He said his “date” was an old flame. Fair enough, fumed Bade, he would just have a seat in the living room and wait for Jude’s date to get decent enough to show her face. Jude put his feet down. It was his house, and there would be no siege by anyone wanting to embarrass him. Could he leave? He left alright and I’d quickly switched off my mobile whilst the commotion was going on.
“Thank goodness I left my car in the office parking lot. What I didn’t expect was Bade loitering on the premises. As Jude dropped me off, he emerged from where he was hiding to confront the two of us. I felt really embarrassed as I simply got into my car and drove off.
Bade and Jude were still hurling insults at each other. Back home, I’d expected the worst. Apart from being married to a man who sexually frustrated me, there was nothing I would really miss from this marriage. If he wanted a divorce, I would be more than happy to give him one. When he eventually came home, I thought he would hit the roof. Instead, he sat on the sofa, put his head in his hands and started crying. Tentatively, I sat with him, tried to console him as he wailed “How could you?”, over and over again.
“When he’d calmed down a bit, 1 told him of how he’d deliberately frustrated me sexually and how he didn’t make me feel that much of a woman – just the keeper of his home. He agreed he knew sex was very important to me but never thought it was the be-all and end-
all. The more we argued, he said, the less he wanted it as much as I did, not because he didn’t love me or have feelings for me.but because there were just too many tensions and issues between us. That because of the extra work-load in the office, he didn’t have the energy for the kind of sex 1 was expecting.
“I was shocked. He was making it sound as if I was a pervert. Was once in six-weeks sex normal for him? He confessed he’d been badly hurt by women in the past and was withholding sex from me to see if I’d be unfaithful. What a bombshell?! So, now that his worst fears had come true, what was he going to do? He’d deliberately pushed me into the arms of another man, how dared he punish me for someone else’s sins? ‘I’m really sorry’, he sighed.’ ‘I’ll try to change’.
We vowed to be more affectionate towards each other and spend more quality time together. I hope it works out because there will always be the shadow of the affair between us. But I don’t regret it. I would rather Bade didn’t find out, but now he’d found out, it could just about save our marriage’.