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He shows little remorse for his betrayal


My Husband Thought I Could Never Get

Back On My Feet

Dear Bunmi,

I am a married woman of 43 with four children. I used to be the legal secretary of a company until I was inched out in a bitter boardroom brawl. As to be expected, my confidence took a bashing on top of which my savings dwindled.

At first, I had the sympathy of my husband. When he began to complain about the quality of food he was getting, I explained to him that now I wasn’t earning a salary, I couldn’t augment the house-keeping fund he was giving me. He

became cold and distant and sometimes refused food until I found out he was having an affair a couple of streets from us! I confronted him and he was really .riasty, saying he had to eat decent meals once in a while.

Well, as God would have it, some factions broke away from myoid company to form a brand new one and I was invited as an executive director. I was able to raise the money they asked for and the company is now doing well. My self-

confidence is back.

What has gone really awry is how I feel about my husband. He has started being nice all over again, but I really hate him. I never knew he could be such a fickle man. The kids want me to let by-gone be by-gone. But he let me down when I needed him most. Joko, by e-mail.


Dear Joko,

Hurts like youaexperienced will take a long time to disappear, but you must work at it. It was cruel of your husband not to support you when you were down, but he must have panicked too, thinking of the financial implications of your wage loss. Though it doesn’t explain his rushing to another woman for comfort, he must have been confused too.

Why don’t you have things sorted out with him? Tell him how much he hurt you and maybe you might be able to understand why he behaved so badly and with time, you will be able to forgive and forget. You should listen to your children too,

they count in the making of a stable family.


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