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Societal beliefs pressurise single ladies into marriage at certain age

A number of residents of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) have attributed the pressure on single ladies to get married at certain age in Nigeria to societal beliefs.

Society expects females to get married in their 20’s as they are seen to be at the prime of their beauty, strength, fertility and maturity.

The residents, who spoke in Abuja on Sunday, gave their opinions on various factors that made women feel pressured by society to get married early.

Miss Toke Makinwa, an entrepreneur, and a blogger on marriage issues, said that fertility was taken into strong consideration by society, therefore putting pressure on women to get married at their prime.

“Women below 30 are known to have better chances at having healthy pregnancies and healthy children, so I believe that women who are getting closer to 30 and haven’t gotten married feel immense pressure from society.

“Having parents stress the fact that they want to have their grandchildren early does not help matters too, so I assume fertility is the underlining cause of the societal pressure on single women,” she said.

Mr Marcus Solomon, a stock broker said that women allowed the pressure get to them because they think men view beauty and fertility as the deciding factors for marriage.

“Women are at the prime of their beauty and fertility when they are in their 20’s, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be as good looking or productive when they are older.

“It also doesn’t mean that they will suddenly become barren or their fertile eggs will become fried eggs or something of that sort, so they should relieve themselves of the pressure from society.

“However, I think that the major thing that makes women feel pressured is the fact that they believe that men are attracted to only beautiful women and their beauty will wane as they age.

“Women should know that all good men look for a girl who is presentable, but also has a good personality and character and no matter the age she is, the man will marry her if she makes him happy.

“The lady in question just has to be patient and be realistic with her expectations of a relationship,” he said.

Mrs Nwanneka Agbasi, an accountant, said “I believe that young women also pressurise themselves because they feel left behind by their friends and peers.”

“When they begin to notice that most of their friends are getting married and having children while they themselves are not even in a serious relationship, they tend to get worried.

“Most will put on a brave face and force themselves to be patient, but deep down they are wondering if they have a major flaw that has caused them to remain single.

“Coupled with the fact that age comes with its physical effects, the desperate women will see the need to settle with any man possible even when they know the man is not right for them.

“Ladies shouldn’t be pushed into marriage because marriage is not an easy task, it is something that can be emotionally and mentally draining, which is not easy to manage.

“Everyone looks at the expensive and lavish Nigerian weddings that hold, but no one talks about the high level of divorces and the individuals coping with unhappiness and domestic violence in their marriages.

“I believe it is better to be single and happy, than depressed with a spouse.”


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