By Oghene Omonisa
There is evident increase in interracial dating in the US, and also across Europe, many of which lead to marriage. This trend has seen black men becoming more attracted to white women, and white men becoming attracted to black women. Since the 1967 US Supreme Court decision that fully legalised interracial marriage in all the states, this practice has not witnessed as much of such cases as since 2000, according to statistics.
In 1970, revealed a Stanford University study, there were only 65,000 marriages involving African-Americans and whites. In 2005, that number had grown to 422,000. Among all interracial couples, they represented two percent of marriages in 1970. In 2005, that number was up to seven percent of the 59 million marriages in the United States.
So, what is responsible for this growing trend? “Some of the growth can be accounted for by declining societal prejudice towards – and less shame experienced by – people in interracial marriages”, says encyclopedia.com. It goes on to add that couples tend to start a relationship based on four important reasons: the attractiveness of the partner, shared common interests, shared similar entertainment interests, and socio-economic similarities.
Of all these, reports indicate that the attractiveness, comfortability and compatibility of the couple’s sexuality is the primary reason for interracial dating, and every relationship that leads to marriage starts with dating. The choice, says one expert, mainly lies with the female partner, as a woman has the final say in every relationship: either to accept or turn down a proposal. As sexual satisfaction and compatibility are of paramount importance to their happiness, her happiness lies on how much her man satisfies her romantically.
“Partners in interracial relationships reported significantly higher relationship satisfaction compared to those in intraracial relationships”, says Research Gate, a US-based study group. However, no differences were found for conflict or attachment style, and no differences found between interracial and intraracial relationships in relationship quality, conflict patterns, relationship efficacy, coping style, and attachment.
White woman/black man, black woman/white man sexuality
Different experts and commentators have ascribed sexual satisfaction as the major reason white women date black men. “Mudshark” is the word most white guys in the US and across Europe use in describing such women, though in contempt as they insist the women engage in it out of low esteem as they are not good enough for the white guys. Other reasons given by these men are that these women hold the misconception that white men are not masculine enough compared with the blacks, which lead them to experiment with black guys; that the white women also do it in rebellion against the old prejudice of whites against blacks, and in the process drawing attention to themselves.
One white male respondent on a popular Facebook chat group even accused the mudsharks of longing for the ‘‘filling’’ mythical black manhood, based on the belief that blacks are more virile and better endowed ‘‘down there’’. The position of these whites has been that the relationships do not last long and often end in heartbreak for the white women. However, this cannot be entirely acceptable, considering the growing number of interracial marriages between white women and black men in the US and across the Atlantic. This clearly smacks of envy on the part of the whites.
A white girl on a popular chat group girlsaskguys, recently posted a question: ‘‘Ladies, have you ever had sex with a black guy?’’ The responses she received were as varied as they were revealing: one said no, but she looked looked forward to it, and wanted to know if the enquirer has done so, for her to reveal the experience.
Another revealed she has done it with many black guys, that she ‘‘enjoyed most of it’’ and described black men as confident, and recommended every white girl should try it. The enquirer then asked: “So are they bigger in the pants or is this myth?” To which the I-Have-Done-It responded: “It’s basically a myth, but as with any race of guys, some do come along with very large sholongs. Can’t say that more of the black race has them than any other, though!”
Still on girlsaskguys, a white male member posted: “Do black men have a higher stamina and length compared to white guys? I have just had my black girlfriend, and I am feeling pressured!” And he explained his predicament: “I have just got together with a black girl.
The first one I have been with and I’m her first white guy. We were talking about sex the other night and she put some doubts in me because she was like she had only been with black men and she said that they are better equipped and last longer. Now, I don’t have problems in my ability or myself. Its just made me feel pressured. Am I correct to feel this, and was her statement correct? Just feeling a bit pressured.”
One white male respondent posted: “It’s a myth.” Another posted: “I’m not black and I have a horse cock”, and added: “They call me ‘cockzilla’.”
It is clear that the controversy of black men having better libido than white men has contributed to the drive for white women seeking out black men. However, can the same be said about foreplay and romance between a black man and a white man? Investigations revealed that white men are better than black men in that department.
That perhaps explains why the number of black women dating whites is rising almost at the same rate as white women urging for black men, as the black women apparently find the white men exotic, fascinating and exciting in foreplay, especially oral sex, before the real thing. Writing on the chat group, NIA (Nigerians in America), some years back, Dr. Sabella Ogbobode Abidde, a US-based Nigerian writer posted about a meeting with friends and her ideas for her next work: “I am going to tell the story of two men, one white and one black, and their experiences with sexing outside their race.” Then she posted her admiration for oral sex and foreplay as promoted by whites, especially white men.
Also from girlsaskguys was the poser from a white girl: “Do black guys like to give oral sex just as much as white guys do?” And the inquiry: “I’ve had white and black boyfriends and I noticed that all my white boyfriends had no problem going down on me but some of my black boyfriends just would not do it. Why is that? Is it just that the black guys I picked don’t give oral sex? Or maybe the white boyfriends, for some funny reasons, are more into pleasing their girl than the black guys?”
One white female respondent posted: “Not to be racist but black guys tend to be more cocky and better than what others think of them …. This goes for the friends and people I know. They say ‘I’m too good to eat pussy and shit’, while the white guy is more of a gentleman.” Then another white female posted: “Don’t make an assumption about all black people just from the ones that you know.”
There was almost uniformity in their comments that white men are far better than black men in foreplay and romance because the whites are naturally warm and caring and are out to please their women almost selflessly.
There is no doubt that, while white women enjoy foreplay, they are more attracted by the virility of the black man; and while black women equally like their fellow strong and long-lasting blacks, they find the patience and gentlemanliness to please them by the whites to be romantically exciting.
However, statistics has shown that there are more cases of white women going for black men than vice versa. Investigations have revealed that, in the US and across Europe, many male migrant black Africans, especially illegal migrants, take advantage of this trend to watch out for white women, and eventually get married to them, in order to secure citizenship status or resident permit.
Can these rising cases of racial attraction be traced to the human hormones which is said to be produced in an organism and transported in tissue fluids such as blood to stimulate specific cells or tissues into sexual behaviour?
The role of the human hormones in sexual desire has often posed challenges to sex experts and researchers. What drives sexual desire? What is the root cause of that urge to have sex and how? Different theories have been propounded by different experts. They all boil down to the hormones.
However, unlike what some believe, there is nothing like male and female hormones, according to medical experts at the Inner Balance Health Centre, Loveland, Colorado, US; a claim which has also been supported by other medical experts. In its April 20, 2012 newsletter, Inner Balance Health Centre researchers stated that “Technically, these two categories (male and female hormones) don’t exist. The sex hormones: estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone are found in everyone but in different proportions and with unique functions. It is the balance of all three hormones in the body that promotes health and sexual vitality.”
However, estrogen is usually thought of as a “female” hormone because in women, it is made in the ovaries, adrenal glands, and fat cells and its levels are higher in those of reproductive age. In healthy amounts, it promotes growth of the uterine lining during the first half of the menstrual cycle, contributes to sexuality in many ways, helps prevent bone loss, and works toward maintaining good cholesterol levels, according to experts. In men, small amounts of estrogen are made as a by-product of testosterone conversion.
And testosterone, considered the male hormone because it is produced in the testicles and to a lesser degree in the adrenal glands, helps build muscle tone, increases energy, contributes to a healthy libido, and aids in sperm production. Levels decline with age and with high stress in the body. The third sex steroid frequently mentioned for sexual health is pregesterone, which in women, is produced in the ovaries and through ovulation. It basically balances the unwanted effects of estrogen.
So, can this new trend in interracial relationship be traced to the hormones? Investigation revealed that medical and sex experts have not devoted time to relate the hormones to why white women are now attracted to black men and black women attracted to white men. However, it is apparent that sexual appeal and compatible sexuality are the major driving force behind this trend.