By Anino Aganbi
Many men are generally of the opinion that women are confused…… Are women really confused or have they just got so complacent in deferring to their husbands in almost everything they do? If the truth be told, a lot of women have issues understanding what their men really want . More often than not, pleasing a man can be as difficult as squeezing water out of a rock. Who can ever understand the inner workings of a man?
Women assume they should stay home the moment they start raising a family. What men think and what women feel men think might just be polar opposites. So ladies, if you are of the illusion that you know what your man wants from you, please take time out to ask him because he just might shock the socks off your feet.
Woman’s Own took time out to ask some high-flying men which they prefer between a stay- at- home earthy woman and a career vixen. Here’s what the men had to say.
Speaking to Woman’s Own, Akin Sokefun who owns an advertisement agency, would prefer a work vixen so she would get tired before he comes back from work. Although he wants his food hot on the table, he also likes the idea of his wife having something to keep her busy instead of “going about gossiping with the neighbours”.
“A stay at home mum would be really boring for me. She would want to know about what happened to me and would start fishing out girlfriends. In the case of the work vixen I would be worried about the guys that are on her case. Hopefully by the time I get to be 60, I would prefer a stay at home mum. If perchance I choose a stay at home mum, she should have something doing. She should be able to give my children good education out of school and have some peculiar skills aside from being a mum”.
Sokefun further states “A work vixen would probably want to employ somebody who might be an expert to handle educating her child outside school; the stay at home mum might still not be an expert in that angle but she does it whole heartedly. The downside for a work vixen is that she might not have special interest in her child which gives her man the balance he needs to take special interest in his child. A stay at home mum would have that special relationship with her child which might be on the negative with the man. A work vixen at the end of the day gives balance to the child”.
Conclusively, he adds “A work vixen works for me for now, as I would not be able to handle a stay at home mum. Different strokes for different folks. What works for one man might not necessarily work for me. Having a stay at home mum might work for some guys but personally I just can’t cope with one. Women should look for jobs that can give them that flexibility so they can manage their homes and jobs effectively. At some point, men are bound to be selfish. We want everything a wife should do and the wives actually want to do everything they can for their men. Would you sacrifice that for work?
Also speaking to Woman’s Own, Biodun Oni, an Oil and Gas professional and a House of Representatives candidate during the past election; discloses that although there are different types of men, it is what his wife wants that is most important.
“I can do with any of these as long as my wife is happy. I have a wife that if you insist on keeping at home, you might end up losing. No matter how much wealth I may have, my wife would be miserable if I ask her to stay at home; so I would rather she works. If the kind of wife I have is the one that wants to stay at home and we can get by what I earn then I am fine with that. If she goes to work because she has to earn an income and is not happy, then the home is not happy”.
He also adds “At the end of the day, for me it is not about the economy of the country but about happiness. If you have money and there is no joy at home then what is the point? There are a lot of things that drive men in that regard; some men are insecure, some feel that if their wives go out to work she will become more successful than they are. Some men even want to have a stay at home wife not genuinely because she has to raise the children but because of some other primary and secondary reasons best known to them”.
For Engineer Emmanuel Audu Ohwavborhua who is the NDDC Director, Igbokoda, Ondo State, a proper way to answer will actually depend on the times we are in, as a lot of men who fall within his age bracket prefer the stay at home mum.
“In this lean economy, a full time house wife will not be the most appropriate thing. If you ask me what I want, I would want a stay at home mum because I am busy and my job takes me from one place to the other, it will not be convenient to have a wife that also goes from one place to the other. My wife has always not worked and it has worked out well for me.
The only job my wife did was when we lived in Lagos back in the days and she taught in a primary school which I had to ask her to stop after three months. Even though we didn’t have money then, I said let’s manage what I can bring so that the children can be raised up properly.
Because my wife has held the home front, I have had fewer worries about my home; so I have more brain power devoted to thinking about our engagement, sources of revenue and it has yielded results for us today. In terms of financial capacity today, my wife is higher than some women who work. I want my wife to always have time for me and my children and not get distracted by work.
Also speaking to Woman’s Own, Micheal Afolayan who is a young graduate and entrepreneur also discloses he would prefer both. At least for the space of the first ten years, he would love his wife to be at home. “She can pick up a career after that or possibly have a mini business around the house. After the children are grown there is nothing stopping her.
“It is also subject to the economic situation. When all things are equal there is nothing stopping her from staying at home at least until the children are old enough but when all things are not equal, she just has to look for something to do. But if I can have my way, she should be a full time house wife for the first ten years. After that, her choosing a career should be based on something that will give her time for her family and not a hectic job which will take her whole time”.