MY new wife is obviously not interested in creating a home for us. I have a good job, which means I am often away during the week, but she seems to resent doing any housework. She is supposed to be in the family business, but she scarcely goes there. I assumed when we got married the deal would be that I’d earn the money while she kept our home ticking over.
But I’ve never got a clean shirt or anything decent to eat – and the house is always in chaos. All she wants to do is see her friends. Her parents have agreed to help with domestic helps but for how long? She’s always been spoilt by her parents but they had assured me she could cope with marriage. How do I make her understand that I can’t function like this? It’s a bit too early to be complaining to her parents.
Paul by e-mail
If you two have never sat down to discuss how you’re going to live your new life, you can’t blame your wife for not knowing what the ‘deal’ is supposed to be. The first thing you need to do is talk. If your wife doesn’t wish to run the home, what is her contribution to this marriage going to be?
Your wife can’t take all the blame here. You knew she was a ‘silver-spoon kid’when you met and married her – and that’s all the life she knows. Her transition into a good house-wife is going to take a lot of efforts and patience from you. This is a new journey for both of you and compromises will be needed all along the line. But you can’t compromise unless you talk – so don’t waste another minute. She obviously wanted marriage or she wouldn’t agree to be led to alter.