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My pregnancy is bound to disappoint my mom!

Dear Bunmi,

I’m just over 20 and my boyfriend is a couple of years older. He has a decent job with a manufacturing firm and I work as a Secretary/Receptionist for a group of lawyers.

I have just discovered that I’m pregnant and I can’t wait to shout it from the rooftop. My boyfriend is all for our getting married, but I don’t know how to tell my mum.

She’s brought me and my younger brother up single-handedly since our dad died and has always encouraged me to further my studies.

I can’t hide this pregnancy forever, so please tell me how to go about things without hurting her.

Julie, by e-mail.

Dear Julie,
I can’t really tell you exactly what to say to your mum, but I can tell you how to say it. Your boyfriend and you should meet her face to face— you owe her that much— and being together shows her you’re sticking to each other to bring up the baby through marriage.

Say what you have to say confidently or she’ll pick up your anxiety and think there’s something to be worried about. Don’t give her the impression that you’re on the defensive and say whatever you have to say with love not defiance.

If she reacts badly, hang in there. She’ll just need time to adjust to being a grandmother.

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