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My father cheated on my mum, I don’t want to be like him


By Bunmi Sofola

Dear Bunmi,

My dad cheated on my mother when we were young and went on to have a love child, something I hated him for as we were a close knit family. I’m now in my late 20s and I’m worried it could be the case of like-father-like-son for me.

I’ve cheated on quite a few girlfriends, whenever I’m bored with them and currently have a son. The girl’s parents refused she should have anything to do with me.

They believe I am a gold-digger, though this is out of the question.

I’m ashamed of my behaviour and will really like to be a responsible husband and father one day soon. Yet I have this fear that, like my father, I might end up always being unfaithful.
Tony, by e-mail.

Dear Tony,
Being unfaithful is not something you inherit, or are born with. It’s true that some people with unfaithful parents cheat, but this is only because they don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

You obviously believe it’s wrong, so there is no reason why you should carry on like your dad.
Next time you’re tempted, remind yourself that you can choose how to behave— no one is forcing your eyes to rove. Then think about what other options you have.

If a relationship bores you, then move on rather than cheat.

Search yourself to find out why you keep getting stuck in relationships that bore you and, if possible, wait for that one person that would make a difference.

Once you meet the right partner, your love life becomes an exciting prospect!


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