By Ekerete Udoh

When the video was shown to the husband, his initial reaction was to dismiss the whole scene as a concocted fairy-tale- a sick joke that his haters had pulled, to embarrass and diminish him. How could his wife who had given him four beautiful kids and was there for him as ‘the rock of Gibraltar’ be caught in such a lurid act? His wife was a respected member of the Nigerian community in Maryland, United States and was the hardworking and successful manager of nurses in a reputable Washington DC hospital.

But what he didn’t understand was that the video he was being shown had already gone viral and practically every member of the Nigerian community spread all over the continental United States had viewed it several times and were all shocked and filled with righteous indignation over such an embarrassing conduct by an otherwise happily married woman.

The video, recorded by a sick and depraved lover of the Nigerian-American nurse, had shown the woman, her face clearly in view and well defined, in various stages of intimacy and to imagine a husband looking at the video of his wife in intimate moments with another man and having the same video seen by millions of people was too much for him to handle. He was seized by a paroxysm of anger and dread and went into shock.

The wife, too, having known that the jig was up, was said to have also become suicidal and had to be kept for observation in hospital with the possibility of losing all that she had worked for in the United States- her marriage, her career and her children’s love and adoration, simply because she had allowed fleeting sexual emotions to dominate her thought process.

According to sources, the lady, whose names are withheld here, was seemingly happily married and the union had been blessed with four children. The husband, also names withheld, was said to be very proud and supportive of his wife’s spirit of industry and enterprise and both had led a seemingly happy marital life. However, unknown to the man, the wife was engaged in a torrid affair with an African- American male janitor at the hospital (the janitorial angle is what really offended a lot of the Nigerian community who had seen the video) where she works.

The affair was said to have gone on for years and both had done a great job concealing their romantic involvement. However, the African – American lover was said to have felt betrayed by a promise made, which was not fulfilled by the married mother of four and he decided to blackmail her, with an invitation to their regular rendezvous.

Unknown to the lady, the act for the day was fully recorded and, still unable to fulfill her promise and not yielding to the blackmail, the incensed lover decided to upload the video on YouTube and what a feeding frenzy it generated by the Nigerian community in the U.S. The video was shared within minutes on Whatsapps and a major league embarrassment was created for the married mother of four.

Word within the Nigerian community in Maryland is that the woman is still undergoing observation at the hospital and her marriage is as good as done.

The above sad and unfortunate story illustrates the stress and strain that have bedeviled the institution of matrimony in the Diaspora. Husbands have killed their wives, wives have cheated on their husbands with reckless abandon,  wives are challenging their husbands and assigning certain domestic chores to them, while men have abandoned the traditional roles of breadwinners and opted instead to be ‘kept men’ tending to the home front while the wife works.

Everywhere the aroma of matrimony emits putrid odor, the emotionally nourishing enterprise of matrimony has been turned into an enterprise laden by zero-sum machinations- wives openly plot their husbands failures while the husbands treat their wives with disdain and contempt. Some have lost their children through the cracks in American social structure. The kids have been denied love and nourishment since all they see around them is fight and incessant verbal and physical abuse.

How did we get to this junction where the divorces rates, physical  and emotional abuse have become the defining features of the matrimony among Diapsorans? Next week, relying on two personal experiences, we will attempt to provide answers to the puzzle.


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