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Mum wants a big wedding, but I don’t

Dear Bunmi,
I’m getting married to my boyfriend of two years in a couple of months’ time, but I’m dreading it. We both wanted a simple wedding with close families and friends, but my mother wouldn’t hear of it. I’m the only girl of the family and she’s really pushing out the boat for this wedding, picking aso-ebi and arranging a lavish reception. In short, she has taken over the whole day and I have hardly been involved at all.
My fiance says we should let her get on with it if it would really make her happy as she is paying, but I feel resentful that she has hijacked my day in this way.
I feel like running off to have a quiet wedding!
Balimat, by e-mail.
Dear Halimat,
You’re likely to cause a lot of upset if you run away to get married! Really, there is no need for you to resent your mother for trying to control your life. As it’s only one day, does it really matter? All that’s important is that you and your fiance are happy together. He’s not complaining; all you need to do is relax, humour your mum who’s happy to be the ‘mother-of-the-bride’ and enjoy all the fuss! You might even look back at your wedding day in future and feel a lot of gratitude for your mum for being in control of such a memorable day!


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