With Florence Amagiya
I grew up in a home bonded with love and unity, l have this wonderful mother who doesn’t play with me or my siblings. In fact, the outsider in our home nearly was dad because he was always traveling and keeping night out with friends and each time he comes home, we always teased him with it. So, that’s how the story goes in our home.
I was never treated like a step- child by my mum. In fact, l feel l am her favourite, maybe because l came first or because l seem to understand her more than my siblings. On one occasion when we were on holiday, l became sick and I was rushed to the hospital by her and my siblings. It was discovered that l will be needing blood transfusion from one of my parents. Mum decided to donate blood because dad wasn’t home as usual, on one of his trips. It was discovered that mum couldn’t have been my biological mum because of my rare blood type.
It was the biggest blow given to me! My sweet mother, a beautiful woman with a heart of gold is not my biological mum? Who then can be my mother? You mean I am an outcast? In fact, I am the outsider I and my siblings have being describing dad to be. These thoughts went through my sick body and mind. I left the hospital feeling like l will never get healed again. Mum oh, my step- mother has being paying penance for not letting me know all these years. She said she didn’t want me to feel like a stranger in her house, that was why she didn’t even tell my siblings about it.
My mother is fantastic, whether biological or not. She has being there for me, that’s all that matters. I am a grown man now with all the truth in my hands. I am already raising my own family unit with a wife and a child on the way. Just the other day, an advanced woman paid me an unscheduled visit. Unfortunately for her, mum was at my place visiting also. The woman came into my house to tell me she is my biological mum and that I should forgive her and forget…
Our Stars have these to say
Let it go…
Charles Inojie, Director/Actor
Some of us grew up in families like this and as such we understand the feelings. Here is a case where the guy was raised by a woman who is not his biological mother, but who took care of him as though he is hers and who wasn’t told about the relationship until he was sick. I think the guy should be grateful for living that kind of privilege life under the tutelage of a step- mother. He is indeed lucky! The step- mother is a wonderful woman and person and should be appreciated. We are living in the times where step-mothers guide their possessions to the extent of killing step-sons, but this is not the case here.
I think the guy should forgive the biological mother because no matter what he does he cannot change the fact that the woman brought him to life. I have always said that mothers should not allow the problems they have with their husbands affect the bonding with their kids to the extent that they move out of the homes and do not come to visit. This is always the results when you do this.
It depends on the stress my mum was before she left me as a baby and my dad. If she was pushed to wall by my dad’s action and left because she was under duress then l can forgive her. I won’t forgive a mother who dumps her child because there was something she had forgotten outside her matrimonial home. In fact, I won’t be a party to her life or her welfare. I will definitely help when l can, but not like I would have helped my own mother.
Horesh Thomas, D.O.P (movies)
I am also not a perfect person, so l will forgive my biological mum in this situation because l want to be forgiven when l wrong people. One thing I won’t do is to take her so close; she has to learn her lessons. The position of my step-mum in my life was supposed to be hers, but she didn’t follow through with commitment, but my step-mum stood by me. She should be made to understand life by my actions. It will act as a deterrent to other parents. And for those who are good to only their own children, it will teach them to be good to all who come their way.
Forgive, it happened to…
Johannes Maier, Actor/Model
It is a human nature to err, but forgiveness is divine. I am a product of this situation only that my case is the reverse. My dad left my mum when I was a baby and we haven’t seen him till date. Are you saying if he comes around now, I shouldn’t forgive him? When I know that I need him as much as he does need me? I am not saying this because I need his money, but every child needs his or her dad around. I will forgive him, but he will get to know that he cannot eat his cake and still have it. My mum and I have built a solid bond over the years, so his coming will not break it, but will only show him what he had missed while I was growing up. He will have to earn his own respect and suffer while doing it. I won’t judge his action; after all, I don’t know why he left in the first place.
I won’t forgive her, talk less of her shadow. A mother is supposed to be with the child, only Nannies comes and go in a home. So to me, she’s only a Nanny in my life and nothing more. What kind of woman would leave a child like that and expect that he forgives her?