They come in all shapes and sizes and have been around for ages. They were glamourised some years back by the senior girls in the society – another glamourised word for a sugar mummy. They are men ready to give a woman 100 per cent of their time and attention at the right price.
So, if you have some money to burn and a young strappling toy-boy becons, you would be a fool not to let your money work for you – as long as you don’t let the word ‘love’ seep into the relationship. That could make you a price fool and believe me, there’s no fool like an old fool!
This Funmi found out the hard way. Years ago when she met Ebenezer, it was for the purpose of having clean fun. She was married, but rich. He was a struggling businessman buying and selling what looked like a load of rubbish to her. “But he was tall and good-looking,” Funmi said, “and fit! He had broad shoulders and a roughish look.
It was inevitable I found him attractive. He was upfront with me. He said he had one or two girlfriends and wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. Neither was I. I mean, what sort of serious relationship would a married woman in her 40s be looking for? The sex was good too, though it took place in a one-bedroom boys’ quarter apartment he rented. When the rent was due, I paid for the two years-cheaper and more discreet than a motel.
“Five years after our on-and-off relationship, my poor husband suddenly died of a heart attack. He’d had a dodgy heart for years and was almost 70 when he died. I was devastated, of course. We had four lovely children, three of whom had settled abroad. He’d run an electricity company for years and we never wanted for anything. After his death, I took over the running of the business and I quite enjoyed doing that.
Then, lover boy begged to supply some of our raw materials. I didn’t like mixing business with pleasure as I was well aware of his other girlfriends. But, he was there for me when my husband died, sneaking in after everyone had gone to keep me company at nights I felt too scared to sleep alone. It was inevitable we became closer.
“He started playing the jealous lover card but I just laughed at him. It was a comfort, however, that he was there most mornings after my husband died. He would take me out to interesting places. At night clubs, he danced unashamedly with me though I was 15 years older. In the end, my resolve melted and I gave instructions that his company’s name should be added to the list of our suppliers. Things went well for a while that when I decided to visit the kids abroad, I took him with me. As I made our bookings, the bill was running into tens of thousands but he seemed worth every kobo. It was his second visit abroad and this time, I was picking most of the tabs.
‘’We stayed in a service flat but Ebenezer spent most of his time there as I was with the kids in the family home. At nights, I made an excuse I was visiting friends and we would have time together. He felt really grateful that I lavished so much money on him. When we got back to the country, he begged I should give him a loan for a second hand car one of his friends urgently wanted to sell.
Ebenezer’s current car had seen better days. He was expecting a fat cheque. from his current supplies to the company and he hoped to pay as soon as he got the money. I was later told the good he supplied were so substandard he’d been advised to come and remove them from the premises. I was embarrassed as everybody knew what was going on between us two.
“I went to his place to have a word with him after he’d removed the goods. He was a bit tipsy when I got in and I started telling him off about his letting me down. His eyes narrowed.
‘Who do you think you’re talking to?’ He hissed. Before I could say anything, he stood up and continued his questioning: Don’t you realise? Haven’t you guessed that I’m with you because of your money? I’m a handsome strapling guy. You’re 15 years older than I am. Do you think you’re the love of my life?’ I looked at him in complete astonishment. But he hadn’t done with me yet. ‘When your old man died and left you the business, wasn’t it at that time I became more loving? More caring? I’m with you solely for the money, nothing else! Why then are you always on my case when you should be showing more gratitude?’
“He watched my face for a reaction. I returned his gaze, uncertain. So, he repeated his words, to make his point clear. It was then it danned on me he wasn’t joking. He meant every word he said, intent on hurting me. “Was it the booze loosening his tongue? I was in shock. Who was this monster I’d landed myself with? I just turned around and made for the door. I had to keep my head if I were to recover over a million naira I’d loaned him for the car. Luckily, I’d asked the office to arrange for the loan. I called the manager, and with a lot of shame, told him what happened.
He confessed the office had a duplicate key to the car. I was to stay calm and not let on we intended to do anything until the car was re-possessed. I was a bit shocked when Ebenezer came to see me the next day, apologising profusely he misbehaved because he was drunk. That the rejection of his supplies prompted him to be nasty. He didn’t mean all the things he said, could I forgive him? “I smiled, I told him I forgave him completely. Gave him food and even managed to have sex.
But, I was seething inside. What was the truth of this relationship? I knew I wasn’t in love with him to the extent of expecting a lasting relationship but for him to have uttered those cruel words the evening before made me realise he had no feelings for me at all – all he wanted was the money. The next day, the office manager swung into actionm within hours, the car was repossessed and the police were alerted with the relevant documents.
I made sure the manager called him to let him know, then changed my number. I haven’t heard from him since then and I don’t hope to. For him to have deceived me for years, bid his time so he could continue to milk me dry makes him a dangerous predator. I was well rid of him. At my age, I don’t need any more toy-boys – once beaten …. .”