Breaking News

She’s the mother-in-law from hell!

By Bunmi Sofola

Dear Bunmi,
My  mother-in-law    has always interfered in  my relationship with her son.  Ever since I gave birth to our son three years ago,  she’s become much worse.  She criticizes all my choices and says the clothes I buy for my son are cheap and second-hand.

She’s mad that we didn’t call the boy the name she gave him saying the one we call him doesn’t reflect the family background.

Most times, she just walks into our house without informing us and hangs around for as long as she likes.Whenever I mention her attitude to my husband, he just shrugs his shoulders and says his mum means no harm. But I’m getting close to being really nasty to her.
By E-Mail

Dear Stella,
I think your mother-in-law is probably feeling left out and jealous. I’m sure she would have loved to be more involved in the way her grandson is brought up. So why not let her join in? If she criticizes you, ask her nicely to help you put things right And on a practical level, she could come round occasionally and take your son off your hands.

I’m sure that once your mother-in-law feels more needed and useful, she’ll chill out considerably.

Sex and religion don’t mix before marriage

Dear Bunmi,
My church teaches that sex before marriage is wrong. As a result of this, I’ve never had sexual relationship with a man. The orthodox church I once attended wasn’t that vocal against sex before marriage, but the Pentecostal one I currently attend is dead set against it. But I must confess to being very tempted in the past and I find it hard to resist.

I want so much to feel that closeness with a loved and cherished partner, but I feel guilty when I have these thoughts. What is your opinion on premarital sex?
By E-mail

Dear Ese,
Sexual thoughts and feelings are natural so personally, I don’t feel thinking about sex is a problem. But these thoughts will lead to being more tempted to have sex. So, if you want to follow the rules of your church, then it’ll be easier if you get mentally aroused as little as possible.

Guilt actively focuses your thoughts on what you feel guilty about. Instead, if you feel sexual, fsimply let the thoughts go. I’d advice you to talk to your priest or better still, a much older woman, involved with your church, they should be able to counsel you.

My old flame is back!

Dear Bunmi,
I’m in between boyfriends now as I split up with the last one only recently. The split left me feeling low until recently. A boyfriend who cheated on me a few years back got in touch out of the blue. He wants us to go out on a date and I’m seriously tempted to say yes. He was such good fun when we were an item. Should I?
By E-Mail

Dear Felicia,
If you believe this man has reformed, then you can trust him. But I’d steer clear of him if I were you. First, a guy who cheats is not a good bet. The chances are high he’ll cheat again. Second, you’ve only just ended a relationship. If you rush into another straight away you’re likely to make a bad choice. Being on your own for a while is a much better option than getting involved with a love rat and getting yourself hurt all over again.


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.