By Bridget Amaraegbu (email@example.com)
Bisola couldnâ€™t hold back the tears welling inside her since her last meeting with her boss. As she descended the third floor, they came pouring down her powdered face. The world for her at that moment had come to a halt.
How could she explain the loss of her job, which she spent three years searching for? How would she explain to her friends and family members that she lost the job because she refused to â€˜find somethingâ€™ for her boss of three years?
Mr. Mark Olabisi, the young man Bisola worshipped and could do anything under the sun to please, had fired her because she refused to go to bed with him. What she thought was a joke had eventually led to her sack. For several weeks before the hand of the clock stopped for her, Olabisi had been the best boss in the world. But when he suddenly began bumping into her and making jokes at her beautifully shaped backside, she took them as compliments.
Now, she has no job. Was she stupid or would she have succumbed to his advances? Bridget Amaraegbu has all the answers.
If I like him, yes â€” Rose Okafor, Model
From my own view, this sexual harassment is a two- way thing. I say this because often, it is the people who think theyâ€™re being harassed that actually harass themselves.
Letâ€™s take the office for example. The relationship that should exist in the office is completely formal but some people try to get very informal with their bosses and that is when the first sign of trouble begins to manifest.
Once you are â€˜too freeâ€™ and informal with anybody, especially your boss, you donâ€™tÂ blame him for having the guts to ask you to join him in bed when you actually called for his attention through your actions. Itâ€™s even possible for him to forget that youâ€™re his staff. He may begin to see you as one of his numerous girlfriends, after all both of you have shared intimate moments that had nothing to do with â€˜officialâ€™ office issues that mattered less to the growth of the company. And yet, you come out to say heâ€™s harassing you. Thatâ€™s not fair.
Letâ€™s not also forget those staff who fall in the seduction category. These people are constantly seducing their bosses, either with their dressing, the way they move their body and so on. There are still some group of people who specifically join their organisations because they want to sleep with their boss, especially the men folk. Today, we have more guys who are into the business of sleeping with their bosses than women. And these guys can go to any length to get the attention of their madams. How can this same person come back to tell us that he was forced to compromise his body to keep his job? Itâ€™s not possible. He simply asked for it and he got it.
I think the thing to do to earn your respect from the boss is to have all the right paper qualification, the right attitude to work and above all a sense of commitment and passion for the job. If you are the committed type, your boss would not like to lose you. And if youâ€™re competent, there may be no need for him/her to show interest in your physique, except he is out of his senses.
If Iâ€™m faced with such threats I will not compromise, unless I like my boss so much as to want him in my bed. And that of course will be on the condition that heâ€™s not married. But if heâ€™s married, Iâ€™ll make him see reasons why we canâ€™t get into bed. Iâ€™ll also tryÂ to make him realise how important it is for him to be committed to his wife and risk unnecessary scandal on his family because of mere lust for a body that belongs to another man. But if he should insist, Iâ€™ll resign rather than compromise my dignity.
I know that some people will not look backward and jump at the opportunity when this type of offer comes knocking on their door. The question is, is it really worth it?
There have also been reported cases where some desperate persons go as far as consulting juju priests to help them hipnotise their bosses because they want to entrap them.Â In life, some people go to any length to achieve their goals because as the saying goes, nothing goes for nothing.
This should be a clarion call to all those Ogas out there to please respect their staff. And to all staff, I say respect yourselves and concentrate on your job. When you are committed to your duties, nobody will threaten your position. But if they do, God will always make a way out for you in the desert.
Leave the job â€” Mary Uranta, Actress
This question is not a very difficult one to answer.
Itâ€™s one of the simplest issues youâ€™ve raised on this column, and you know why?Â The situation is a clear one because you donâ€™t really have to sleep with anybody because he or she has something to offer you in return. Thereâ€™s no need for the compromise at all except you sincerely like him or her and have been waiting for an opportunity to express your feelings. Then you can genuinely fall the victim.
But if the person in question is your boss and he threatens to sack you if you donâ€™t compromise, then leave the job. One thing is certain that if you know your job, he may be forced to retain you, whether you agree to sleep with him or not. Donâ€™t forget that diligent and dedicated workers are not very easy to come by. And if he succeeds in throwing you in the cold, God will always make a better way for you.Â So, donâ€™t be afraid.
Also, remember that no matter the compromise, he may not have to keep you on that job for too long if you donâ€™t know your job.
Dialogue first â€” Slam, Musician
If Iâ€™m faced with such situation, the first thing Iâ€™ll do is
to try and explain to that boss why I canâ€™t give in to his request. Iâ€™ll also try my best to be friendly with this boss in question but if all these fail, I may not have any other option than to quit the job. Iâ€™ll have to quit because I cannot compromise my body for any reason. If I have to fall in love with my boss, that will be a different issue. But if itâ€™s on the grounds of he /she is threatening my job, then Iâ€™ll be happy to leave without stains.
Even if I have to advise my sister on an issue like this one, I wonâ€™t tell her to resign her job. Iâ€™ll let do whatever she thinks is best for her.
No job is worth my body â€” Munachi Johnson
My sister, I donâ€™t think any job is worth compromising my precious body. What kind of job will that be? Look, our people should understand that thereâ€™s more to life than what any job can offer. If he gives you the position now because you were able to compromise your body, what will happen when you can no longer give him what he wants.
Donâ€™t forget that it wonâ€™t take long for him to see someone whoâ€™s got a better figure eight and heâ€™ll equally desire her and forget about you. Before you know it, this new figure eight will take over your position and youâ€™ll be thrown out.
Competence on the jobâ€™s only way out â€”Â Onyinyechi Chux
There are one million reasons why this boss will abandon this same body after he must have satisfied his lust. A lot of what ifs- if he sleeps with me and still throws me out of the job the next day? What if Iâ€™m not competent for the position? What if he finds another lady more appealing the next day? I mean, no reasonable person will risk his firm in the hands of one incompetent fool because he wants to have sex with him or her.
And no reasonable boss too will want to lose a competent staff because he or she refused to give in to his sexual desires, no way. I think what we all need is to make sure weâ€™re competent and diligent in our jobs and all these threats will be history.