Hi, Remember that song â€œTonight is the nightâ€ I think, by Gladys Knight. Itâ€™s one of those blissful oldies that takes one tumbling down memory lane, no matter how much we may want to pretend. It talks about those secret three letter words that we all love secretly but try hard to deny openly.
The lyrics of the song is actually about the first time a young lady did the â€œthingâ€ with her lover. It talks about the anxiety, the pain and pleasures of the act. But instructively the song opens with a call for listeners to accompany the singer on the journey, though individually.
Have you ever tried to think back, capture the first time you had sex? What was it like? For different people, it is different strokes. That is why we tried to capture the experiences of readers in this article. Together with Onozure Dania, we asked respondents the following questions: When did you first have sex? Why did you do it? With whom and are you still with the person? What was your experience like, was it as you imagined? Given a second chance will you do the same thing?
Beginning with this edition, you get to read what our respondents have to say. You too may be a part of this wonderful journey down memory lane. Write to us and capture those moments with us, bearing these questions in mind. Our address remains: The Human Angle, Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. Or e-mail address:
firstname.lastname@example.org We are expecting to read from you. Cheers!
Yemi, (38), Banker, says it was an adventure for him:
The first time I had sex, Iwas in primary four, quiteyoung. It was with mycousin, she was a very crazygirl and we were alwaysdoing crazy stuff together atthe time. So, I can say it waswith her that I first learnt thepleasures of being with awoman.
If you know howkids play the â€œmummy anddaddyâ€ stuff, you will havean idea of what I am talkingabout. It was more of havingerections and enjoying it,rather than havingmeaningful sexualintercourse. I was 11, then. So, I can say that I had my first experience at 11 years.
But afterwards, my dadâ€™s seretary took an interest in me. Then I was in junior secondary school. She was quiet elderly, though younger to my parents naturally. I donâ€™t know what she saw in me then, but she liked me.
So, she was the one who took me beyond the pleasures of just having erections or ordinary sex.
She it was, who took me to the other side because it was with her that I first had my first orgasm. With my cousin, it was sheer ignorance but with my dadâ€™s secretary, though it was stupid adventure, but it was more educational and pleasurable.
Itâ€™s funny how these things work and no one will ever guess. I donâ€™t think my parents ever guessed what that lady used to do with me in my dadâ€™s office then. And now when I see young boys chasing after older women, I just laugh.
Why I did it? I think for me it was more of adventure. I am an adventurousÂ person by nature especially when it comes to ladies.
As I grew up, I just wanted to discover what made them different from guys. Whenever I see a lady, I was always fascinated by that â€œthingâ€ growing in front of her chest, why she swayed her hips and bum in a particular manner, and why her things were different from the other girlâ€™s things. You know, I just wanted to experiment with them and I enjoyed it.
Maybe that was what my dadâ€™s secretary saw in me back then, or maybe she too was just like me, adventurous and daring. As time went on, it was just a matter of discovering what this one had to offer that I had not seen or experienced before.
In actual facts, I never really heard anything about sex from anyone before I went into it, it just happened. However, I had seen sex scenes in some movies and had actually wondered what it would be like to be having such fun. Even then, just seeing those movies gave me erection, but I could not do anything with it until my crazy cousin came along. And it was fun.
So, after that, I just became slightly wild and wanted to get down with everything in skirt. ItÂ was like a game and donâ€™t forget that I was actually very young then. I thought I was just having fun, so I didnâ€™t feel bad about the whole thing at all.
I felt good, I felt like was grown up, there on top, doing what every yung guy was doing and in fact, there was nothing I could not do. I really felt good, experienced, all knowing sort of.
Given another chance, I would not want to do it again, considering what I know now. Given the fact that I have actually gathered some more experiences in life, the pros and cons of sexuality and relationships, and more so, the society and life has taken a whole new meaning, different from what I thought about it those years back, I will rather not do what I did again.
Dan, (49), Media Consultant, says it used to be a test of love:
I had sex when I was thirteen, I had it with my babe in the class, one of my classmates. We did it the normal way, we went to the room, both of us started caressing our selves. We did it willingly, because I canâ€™t afford to rape any girl. We wanted to test what the matured people were doing, and to assure each other of our love.
Now that am older, I donâ€™t think it was for love, it was for adventure. It was fun, it was exciting and sweet. That is the only play I know that is sweet and interesting in this world.
There is no other play that is as interesting as sex in this world. I am no longer with the babe because she is married and with kids now. Given the same chance, I will still go back and do the same thing because it was sweet then.
But compared with the fun Iâ€™m having now, it was nothing. It is better now because I have gathered a lot of experience over the years, and most of the babes in town these days are more experienced that the babe we had then.
You will be surprised what girls of 15, 16 17, get up to these days. I think children are born these days with knowledge of how they came into this world nd the pleasures they can derive from it.