“If you’re poor and get caught with drugs, it’s a crime and you go to jail for possession; if you’re rich and get caught with drugs, it’s a scandal and you go to rehab” – Anonymous.

Even in their anger and frustration, there is still a very high sense of humour noticeable amongst Nigerians. In the usual maddening Lagos traffic, one could hear both drivers and passengers raining abuses on one another all in the name of venting their anger.

“Chei! This country is fast becoming a theatre of the absurd. Nigerian government is dancing naked in the market square,” commented Emeka, a commuter in the CMS-bound vehicle this Sunday evening. He was referring to the news at the weekend of the judgment passed on MASSOB leaders.

“Chei, things are happening in this country oo. The more you look, the less you see!” exclaimed Abbey, a commuter in the Ikeja-bound bus. “Imagine the amount of money the airport robbers got in a single operation!”

As for the Boko Haram issue, the government is handling them with kid gloves. Why can’t they be rounded up and dealt with once and for all?”, asked Richard.

There’s more to this Boko Haram menace than meets the eye,” said Sani, a commuter in the Abuja-bound bus. “I suspect the West. These people sit down and plan for the next 20 years, what they will want to see happen around the world and then go and plot how to achieve the projections.”

The hydra-headed monster called corruption, the bane of Nigeria’s development, was the topic of discussion by commuters in the Ikoyi-bound commuter bus popularly called Danfo this Monday morning.

Ha! Man don suffer for this country oo!” exclaimed a commuter in the CMS-bound bus by name Comfort as the bus crawled through the usual heavy Lagos traffic.

Abeg, get down from this bus. Go and meet your people who put you in this condition,” shouted a commuter, Ade, in the Oshodi-bound bus at Ota as a young man, crippled by poliomyelitis (polio) entered the bus to solicit alms.

What are these people really up to? What exactly has this man done to warrant this arrest?” asked a commuter by name, Bola, in the Oshodi-bound commercial bus along Ikorodu Road as officials of the Lagos State Traffic Management Authority, LASTMA and some policemen swooped on one of the commercial buses popularly called Danfo, forcing the driver to stop and taking the key from the ignition.

This country is full of absurdities!” exclaimed Nick in the Ikeja-bound commercial vehicle, referring to the Police pension fund scam..“Are they telling us now that it pays to steal?”

Ah, I think we are over-flogging this issue. If you ask me, I feel we should put paid to this matter,” said Emeka this Tuesday morning as the commuter bus made its way through the early morning traffic along the Apapa-Oshodi expressway. He said this in response to the comment made by another commuter by name Ade who had on hearing the name of the Minister of Agriculture, Dr Akinwunmi Adeshina mentioned in the news.

So na here this hold-up start today?” commented a passenger by name, Sam, in the Lagos-bound commercial vehicle as the driver veered off the tarred portion of the road for the untarred portion just to beat the hold-up, whipping up dust clouds in the process and attracting curses from other road users.

“Come o, are these not the dogs they brought in from the United States a few months ago?” asked Okey, a passenger in the Wuse-bound bus as he sighted some sick-looking dogs being led by some policemen along the road.

Goodness gra-cious! This heat is killing! E fit fry person liver oo,’ commented Oge this Tuesday morning while commuting to work. “It seems the sun god is very angry with us that it decided to descend on us with fury. I mean, the heat is becoming unbearable. For goodness’ sake, it’s just 9.00 in the morning and it’s already this hot, what happens at 12.00 noon?”

Goodness gracious! This heat is killing! E fit fry person liver oo,’ commented Oge this Tuesday morning while commuting to work. “It seems the sun god is very angry with us that it decided to descend on us with fury. I mean, the heat is becoming unbearable. For goodness’ sake, it’s just 9.00 in the morning and it’s already this hot, what happens at 12.00 noon?”

Why is the CBN Governor, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi always in the eye of the storm? Always courting trouble?” asked Eze, a commuter in the CMS-bound commercial bus, as the controversy over the CBN Governor’s suggested solution to our national problems.

What? We are finished security-wise. If these Boko Haramites can be bold enough to attack a military outfit, then there is no more hope for us mere mortals,” commented Moses as the newscaster finished talking about the Sunday morning bombing of a church in Jaji military cantonment, Kaduna State.

Oh God! How did we get here? How did we descend so low?” asked a commuter by name John, as the CMS-bound commuter bus moved slowly through the Monday morning Lagos traffic. He was reading one of the national dailies, and apparently reacting to one of the headlines.

Ah, ah! I thought all this okada madness has stopped,” exclaimed Mercy at the Mile two Bus-stop when about 15 okada riders rode at their usual maddening speed despite riding against traffic, an offence in Lagos State.

The Mile-Two-bound commuter bus inched its way through the Monday morning rush hour traffic and as is usual with Monday mornings, traffic came to a standstill at some point. The commuter bus came to a stop right in front of an old storey building that badly needed repairs. Sitting idly in the compound were women of easy virtue in their usual trade attire; clothes that leave nothing to the imagination.

These people are at it again!” Tony exclaimed as he sighted the headline on a national daily last week talking about the Central Bank of Nigeria introducing N5,000 note.

My God!!” exclaimed John as passers-by watched as an Okada rider knocked down a pedestrian at the Berger Yard Bus stop on the Mile-Two – Apapa Wharf road Monday evening. The Okada rider was definitely in the wrong because not only was he going on a one-way traffic (going from Apapa to Mile-Two on the lane meant for vehicles going from Mile-Two to Apapa), he was on high speed, as if the devil himself was after him.

“Kai! I weep for my beloved nation. Is it not too shameful that the giant of Africa, with a population of over 150 million people, could not win a single medal at the just-concluded Olympic Games in London?” asked Emma this Sunday morning as the bus inched its way through traffic along Airport Road, Lagos.

Traffic was unusually light this Monday morning along the perpetually busy Apapa-Oshodi Expressway.

“But I thought the police had been removed from our roads?” asked John, a commuter in the Oshodi-bound bus which a policeman flagged down and asked the driver to get down.

Like joke, the Boko Haram menace has taken an international colouration as no one is safe anymore, not even those who started the movement and were financing it,” observed Okey as the CMS-bound commuter bus waded its way through the early morning traffic.

IT was a Monday morning during the peak traffic period along the Mile Two-Badagry road when out of the blues, a young man dressed in a pair of blue jeans trousers and T-shirt jumped right in front of this commuter bus and barked at the driver to stop. Everybody was confused because they could not pinpoint what the hapless driver had done wrong.

“Just look at the vast land wasting away and we are here crying over unemployment, poverty, food insufficiency and the rest of them,” noted Joe, a passenger in the Onitsha-bound commuter bus. The bus was moving slowly on the Lagos-Benin Expressway as traffic was beginning to build up due to bad road worsened by the heavy rains being experienced in the country.

This is why almost all contracts are either abandoned, half-done or done with the cheapest possible materials. This matter goes to the very soul of our country and is far bigger than Otedola and Lawan,” said Tim.

I weep for this nation. Our lawmakers are no longer making laws but spend precious time and tax payers’ money probing members who have broken the law,” said Mustapha.