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Tiola’s Take

“Rest your legs…


By Tiola She had me pinned to my seat with that penetrating stare of hers and patiently listened to my rant about not getting enough work, and having doubts as to whether I had made the right career choice considering how slow things were going and Nollywood’s total apathy towards me at the time. She
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The perceptions of a 16-yr old Nigerian

I promise you this is a true story, and I have not, did not manipulate the conversations recorded herein in anyway. I was actually minding my business, trying to decide on a theme for this week’s article – I am seriously tired of commenting on the state of the nation —when my nine year old, the baby of the house walked in to relay a conversation she had just with her older brother, who is 16.

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File photo

Nigeria: A great potent force

There’s no denying the potent power of Nigeria as a country or Nigerians as a people. Meeting just one Nigerian (depending on who) can have life altering effects not to talk more of walking into a room full of us or better still, drop a jonnie just come in the middle of Lagos during rush hour…. Trust me, it has a profound effect.

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Fireworks explode over Victoria Harbour in Hong Kong on January 1, 2014. A wave of pyrotechnic displays kicked off new year celebrations in major cities around the world, with Hong Kong welcoming 2014 with a choreographed music and fireworks show. AFP PHOTO / ALEX OGLE

2014: This year

My first article of last year was to be titled “2013: THE YEAR OF IRETI DOYLE” but I thought to myself, how vain! and decided against it. Political correctness aside, there was just a calm certainty in the pit of my stomach, that the year 2013 would be very pivotal and in many ways it was. Professionally speaking, it was some of my best work yet; proof positive being the several nominations, and the handsome best actress trophy sitting proudly on my mantle.

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File photo: kids playing on a street during school hour...

Home is where you are

We had come into town late that night and smack in the middle of one of Britain’s worst storms. The plan was to spend the first night in a hotel, calibrate and then move over to my girlfriend’s house the following day. The kids and I had picked a fine time to visit London.

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… and the monkey won

Some things no just make sense… not after all this time and not after everything mankind has been through. Like we don’t have enough problems as it is … natural disasters of global proportions, monumental global fraud, all kinds of sickness and disease, the constant threat of nuclear warfare to mention just a few. On top of all of this and some, having to deal with the petty mindedness of man just seems too much to bear.

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Through the eye of the needle

It doesn’t matter how wide a gate is, the people in charge more often than not, make it narrow; intentionally. I’ve never understood the logic behind it. You have two thoroughfares, clearly marked IN and OUT to aid the easy flow of traffic and to some extent improve the security situation but no, the current Nigerian way is to slow things down…complicate things… .

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Cross section of fleeing Nigerians in Ashigashiya town, Gwoza LGA, in Borno state following the Boko Haram crisis. Photo Ndahi

Whereof our refuge?

Na wa o ! As a Nigerian I’m beginning to feel like the Israel with all this persecution. So if anything bad happens anywhere, what, just check around for the next Nigerian and that’s your culprit? And please, (with my hand all up in your face!) don’t give me that story about Nigerians being the worst criminals on the face of the earth.

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A Nigerian fan cheers prior to Argentina vs Nigeria

Nigeria we hail thee!!

Fifty three and counting…. Make I talk true ehn, warts and all; I am PROUDLY Nigerian, where else in the world will you find such an eclectic mix of the good, the bad and the ugly? Where else in the world does obscene opulence reside side by side and comfortably so, with abject poverty?

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Diplomacy matters

Never before has the pressure to bring Nigeria ‘on-side’ as regards same sex relationships been so intense. Several weeks back I was watching a report on one of these foreign news cables about how we were one of the countries that imposed the death penalty on people found to be indulging in same-sex relationships which of course, is a blatant lie, we all know that punishment is 14 years imprisonment.

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Chronicles of a comical nation

A time will come when this too will become an entertaining anecdote round the dinner table and we’ll be like tee hee hee hee…. Remember when then mace was the political weapon of choice…hee hee…’.but for now, our very own theatre of the absurd moves on and is playing out to a packed house in the Garden City.

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Oil and water

When the government led by the late President Yaradua first floated the idea of amnesty for the ‘restless youth’ of the Niger Delta, I did a piece questioning the rationale because my interpretation of the the Amnesty International charter did not include welfare packages and luxury trips (thinly disguised as training programs) for people who in plain speak have done nothing but take innocent lives and wreak wanton destruction albeit in the name of ‘fight for rights’; yeah! But that’s just me sitting here tapping away.

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