Monday April 20th, 2015
Monday April 20th, 2015
Latest

Happy mothers’ day to super mothers

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:40 am   /   Comments

Baby-mother

Tomorrow, Catholics in Nigeria celebrate Mother’s Day. Some denominations celebrated Mother’s Day on the fourth Sunday of Lent. Some other countries, like America (May 11), are yet to celebrate Mother’s Day. Anyway, whether it is in advance or in arrears, I wish our beautiful and wonderful mothers a very happy Mother’s Day.

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Living with the oracle of Niger Delta — Preye Evah

  /   in Marriage and Family   /   Comments

Preye-Magada-Evah-and-husba

My husband’s biggest fans are women. Most times when we are in public places, you see women coming to hug him. Some will tell me plainly that I should not be jealous, that he was made for the public, that he defends public interest. So many people who watch him on television are always excited whenever they see him physically.

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The deadly AS/AS combination

  /   in Marriage and Family 5:03 am   /   Comments

*The fanfare of `a hole in the pocket’

Sometimes issues you have dealt with come up again, prompting a revisit. On February 8, 2014, on this column, I wrote about a mother who stopped her son from getting married to his fiancée because both of them carry the AS genotype which can lead to giving birth to children with sickle cell anaemia.

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Elections’ side attractions

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:58 am   /   Comments

Local representatives of the Nigeria Independent National Electoral Commision (INEC) collate figures from the general election in Port Harcourt, capital of Nigeria's southern oil-rich Rivers State, on March 29, 2015. Nigeria's closely fought general election went into a second day after failures in controversial new technology snarled the polling, including for President Goodluck Jonathan. AFP PHOTO

My interest in this year’s elections goes beyond casting my vote. I have been attending campaign rallies and town hall meetings. During this time, I take time to observe people, especially youngsters in the villages, as they mill around. I have noticed some very disturbing trends among youths in the villages.

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Perform your civic duty

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:36 am   /   Comments

jega

Today, Nigerians go to the polls to elect a president to run the affairs of this country for another four years, beginning from May 29, 2015. Although a handful of candidates are vying for the top seat, it is a straight contest between the incumbent, President Goodluck Jonathan of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), and General Muhammadu Buhari (rtd.) of the All Progressives Congress (APC).

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Is marriage a building?

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:17 am   /   Comments

*The fanfare of `a hole in the pocket’

By Francis Ewherido Erecting a building starts with planning, design, construction, financing and continues until the structure is ready for occupation. Thereafter, the building should be occupied and maintained. If not, it becomes dilapidated and may collapse over time. Normally, a marriage starts with courtship, agreement to get married, planning and the marriage ceremony. Thereafter,

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“My marriage has died”

  /   in Marriage and Family 9:40 am   /   Comments

Marriage-Cartoon

No suspense, I got the title of todayfs topic from a small story on Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, American entertainers and celebrity couple. Will was once married, but divorced three years later. But he and Jada have been married for 18 years, an eternity by Hollywood standard. Okay, not only Hollywood; 18 years is a long time to sleep and wake up every day seeing the same face; it is a long time to stick with only one lover.

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Revisiting Beijing

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:35 am   /   Comments

ladies

As we celebrate the International Women’s Day tomorrow, two incidents in the last two weeks gave me a wake-up call. First, I met a female politician who was denied her party’s ticket to the state House of Assembly because a veteran Politician, who is an octogenarian and a lead actor in the second republic, does not deem a woman fit to represent the constituency. According to the lady, the baba told her in clear terms that a woman cannot represent his constituency and that included his daughters.

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Anal Penetration

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:42 am   /   Comments

campus-sex111

Like leprosy, it is gradually eating into marriages and desecrating the sacred institution of matrimony. Some spouses are not finding it funny and are grumbling about their spouses’ “fetish habits,” “strange pleasures,” “unusual habits” and “irresponsible desires.”

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Why I prefer early marriage

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:42 am   /   Comments

*The fanfare of `a hole in the pocket’

I believe it is the prerogative of every adult to decide when to marry and who to get married to. I also believe that, as people in a free society with freedom of speech, parents have a duty to offer their children advice. Whether the advice is taken or jettisoned is a different matter. It is in exercise of this freedom that I called my two eldest children some time ago.

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Aborted valentine coup

  /   in Marriage and Family 7:12 am   /   Comments

love femi

But if a pregnancy results from your Valentine’s Day activities—now I am talking to both couples and the unmarried who overstep their bounds—keep it; there are no unwanted pregnancies, only unplanned pregnancies.

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Marriage: a do-or-die affair?

  /   in Marriage and Family   /   Comments

romance

After a certain age, there is a concerted and deliberate pressure by society, especially in our part of the world, that an individual must get married. To be properly accepted or integrated in the society after a certain age, regardless of the mental, physical or psychological preparedness or condition, one must be coupled as a man or woman. For the woman especially, the biological clock is an important factor which must not be ignored as procreation is considered sacred.

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Changing times

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:20 am   /   Comments

Gay-Marriage

I always spend quality time with my octogenarian mother each time I travel home. I enjoy her company. I also made up my mind sometime ago that it is better to shower your love, time and resources on loved ones while they are alive so that if they die before you, all you will feel is that deep sense of loss, not regret over what you could have done that you did not do.

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Abuja residents list factors that can lead to failed marriage

  /   in Marriage and Family 1:47 pm   /   Comments

couple4

“marriage is like a flower; if it is not watered with intimacy and love, it will wither and die. “Intimacy is what keeps the flame burning in a marriage”—Marriage expert

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“Supreme betrayal”

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:05 am   /   Comments

Abiarape

The first time a woman came to us with a complaint that her husband was sexually abusing their three children—two girls and a boy—I told her: “Madam, two things, either you are mad to accuse your husband of such heinous deeds or your husband is mad to lay his hands on his own children.” Incest, specifically father-daughter liaison, has been with humankind for a long time. Lot not only slept with but deflowered his two daughters (please leave the drunkenness details for another day. Deflowering two virgins in two successive days without being conscious of the act must be one of the mysteries in the Bible) Genesis 19: 32-35.

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Happy Spouse Day to Super Spouses

  /   in Marriage and Family 1:00 am   /   Comments

Love1

Monday, January 26, is another Spouse Day, a day set aside to celebrate and honour our spouses. It is a day when we should not only tell our spouses we appreciate them, but show it. Actually we should appreciate our spouses always; this day is only meant to draw attention to the need to appreciate our spouses. I dedicate this year’s Spouse Day to some super spouses. The first group of super spouses is those who have stuck to their spouses through childlessness.

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Spousal Rage

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:53 am   /   Comments

sham marriages

My hard-line views on LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders) notwithstanding, I sympathise with brand expert, Kenny Badmus, who is gay and HIV positive. According to Badmus, who is going through a divorce with his wife: “After six years together, I knew I was not getting any better. I still loved men. And one day, because I didn’t want to cheat on her, I humbly asked her that we should go our separate ways. That was when all hell broke loose. She suddenly forgot about how it all started.

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Thank you, parents-in-law

  /   in Marriage and Family 10:17 am   /   Comments

*The fanfare of `a hole in the pocket’

You cannot be a complete person until you learn to empathise, that is, put yourself in the position or situation of others. I have always loved and respected my parents-in-law since I met them; they are nice people and we are now one family. Moreover they allowed me marry their daughter without any hassles even though I was a complete stranger when I met them.

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How about personal mission and vision statements?

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:09 am   /   Comments

newyear

At the beginning of the year, many people make New Year resolutions. These resolutions are basically dos and don’ts they pencil down to implement during the year to make them better human beings or achieve specific goals.

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Some thoughts for newlyweds

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:34 am   /   Comments

sham marriages

The Christmas season has also become a time for solemnisation of marriages. Many couples are getting married this season. It is all so nice seeing young couples; immaculately dressed, apparently happy, feeling fulfilled, sometimes relieved, smiling into the future with great hopes and expectations. It is wonderful to be surrounded by family, friends and well wishers, but it is momentary.

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Heal the family

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:26 am   /   Comments

christmas2

This year has almost flown by. So soon Christmas is here again. Christmas has always meant different things to different people and will continue to be so. But two perceptions of the true meaning of Christmas form the basis of today’s column. The first is “Christmas time is family time”, while the second is “Christmas season is a time for healing and reconciliation.”

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How much are children worth?

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:01 am   /   Comments

A girl offers her story book during a family visitation to mark Children's Day at the Heritage Orphanage Home, Gwarimpa, Abuja. Photo by Abayomi Adeshida

John came back from his village recently. For some reasons he has not been there since the new millennium. His trip was a mixed bag: happy to be back to his root, but came away with a cultural shock: Many of his relatives and age mates had 10 or more children with some having many wives. But that was not his concern; his concern was that many of them are poor and unemployed, with those employed not earning more than N15, 000 monthly. “What goes on in these people’s minds? How do you just breed without thinking about how to cater for them?

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28 Internet acronyms every parent should know

  /   in Marriage and Family 9:26 am   /   Comments

phone1

Internet has affected virtually every aspect of human lives, and the increasing way at which children immerse themselves in this new order, opens new challenges making parenting.

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Did God make a mistake?

  /   in Marriage and Family 3:24 am   /   Comments

God1

Recently, I came across the story of a 14-year-old American “girl”, Jazz Jennings, who was born a boy, but did a sex change to transmute to a girl. According to the story, Jazz started “leaning toward a feminine side at only 15 months old (hmmm).

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AIDS and teen sex education

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:22 am   /   Comments

aids

Monday, December 1, is World AIDS Day, a day set aside since 1988 to beam the searchlight on HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) and AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome).

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This life!

  /   in Marriage and Family 8:31 pm   /   Comments

life

Sometime ago, I went on a business visit to a client and friend. Inevitably the discussions veered from business to life. We talked about the ephemeral nature of life and vanity. As if preempting me, he told me that when he goes to bed, he sleeps like a baby.

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Grace,not beauty

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:38 am   /   Comments

love-is-blind

I went with my wife to an office I visit often, but that was the first time I was going there with her. Immediately I introduced her to the two young ladies at the reception, in unison they chorused: “no wonder.”

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Beno

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:41 am   /   Comments

gay

I will not keep you in suspense. In Africa, we give our new-born babies names to tell a particular story of the time, the past, situations or purely as a metaphor. One of such names in Urhoboland, though rare, is: Uwevwirohwofabeno (it is difficult to understand the inner workings of another person’s house). Jaw-breaking? The short form, Beno, is our title today.

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Just how blind is love?

  /   in Marriage and Family 7:59 pm   /   Comments

Love1

You must have heard the cliché at least once: “Love is blind.” What does it really mean and just how blind should love be? I decided to investigate. I suspected that responses will be varied and I was not disappointed. My finding is that the phrase is amoebic; it means different things to different people, though with some common denominators.

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Shifting the goal post after…

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:40 am   /   Comments

*Some of the brides

Joan and John were attending different churches when they met and started dating. They were deeply in love and wanted to make the relationship permanent. But there was a snag: Joan is the “typical Catholic girl” and could “not imagine leaving the Catholic Church and …told John in very certain terms.” Love-struck John did not see any big deal in denominational differences; “after all we are all Christians.”

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Spouses in jointly-owned businesses

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:47 am   /   Comments

1000-naira-notes

Marriage can be a minefield and needs careful navigation. Running a business with your spouse brings added risks. It is a double-edged sword. It can be so wonderful on the one hand and on the other hand it can put enormous strain on the marriage and even cripple it.

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International day of the girl child

  /   in Marriage and Family 12:01 am   /   Comments

UNITED STATES, CHESTER : CHESTER, PA - JUNE 3: The player escorts for the Nigerian National Team hold signs in support of the girls kidnapped in Nigeria, before the game against Greece during an international friendly match at PPL Park on June 3, 2014 in Chester, Pennsylvania. AFP

Time can never diminish those wonderful early memories. That moment you came into the world, announced your arrival with a cry and upgraded my status to a father. Going to work became a massive drag; coming home was magnetic. A 30-minute journey home looked like eternity; I felt like taking a helicopter to beat Lagos traffic.

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