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    Marriage and Family

    Stereotyping

    love

    After their 10 wedding anniversary, John and Rose’s seemingly rosy marriage was falling apart. John was tired of living a lie. He was determined to make the marriage truly happy or pack it up. He decided to start from where all sensible couples should: communication. They did not travel abroad or go to some exotic hotel or resort to do it; that is for people who have the means and time. They did it right there in bed where they have earlier had a grueling intimate moment (some call it grudge sex).

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    love

    “Forsaking all others”

    Ruth is in a rude shock. She is bemoaning the fortune that came to them and “tore” her and her husband apart. Ruth, her husband, Gerald and four children, two boys and two girls, “were living happily in a three-bedroom flat where we cramped ourselves. Male visitors stayed in the boys’ room while female guests stayed with my daughters.”

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    File: Family

    Happy family day

    Tomorrow, the world celebrates the World Family Day, a day set aside by the United Nations to draw attention to the importance of the family. The day was also declared in response to changing social and economic structures which have affected and still affect the structure and stability of families in Africa and other parts of the world. After God, the family comes next. It is good to have a successful career, hang out with the guys/girls, but nothing comes near the family. Great wealth without great children to manage it after your retirement/demise often becomes a term activity.

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    Spouse stops drinking

    Prisons

    We live in a free world, but virtually everybody is in one form of prison or the other. We are prisoners of nature and nurture. Nature refers to all of the genes and hereditary factors that influence who we are, while nurture refers to all the environmental factors that influence who we are. Nature is inherited from our parents, while nurture is environmental.

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    love

    Marriage is not a bed of roses

    We live at a time and in a country where time-honoured clichés and sayings are being partly or totally debunked. For example, “the patient dog eats the fattest bone,” but many a time in Nigeria the patient dog meets an empty plate. At a seminar in a foremost hotel in Abuja, lunch was a buffet and participants were going table by table. My table was among the last and when I saw some people from my table shunting, I was disappointed, but by the time we got there, I understood why.

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    One of the victims, Sarafa, an Eletrical part seller whose shop was gutted by fire. Pix by Dare Fasube

    Bereavement

    By Francis Ewehrido Bereavement refers to the period of mourning and grief following the death of a loved one. The origin of the word bereavement appropriately describes how many people feel about it: “to rob” or “to seize by violence.” How else do you describe a situation where the cold hand of death unexpectedly and
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    sham marriages

    The win/win formula

    “Marriage may alleviate the problem of loneliness, but it presents the challenge of getting along with another person. It teaches you that you can’t always avoid conflict, but you can make it work for you. The truth is, unless there are two winners in a marriage, there are none at all.” Excerpt from a man on his 50th wedding anniversary.

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    Jesus-on-the-cross

    Happy Easter

    Since Ash Wednesday on February 10, 2016, many Christians have undergone one Lenten observance or the other. Lent is over and tomorrow is Easter. In the euphoria of Easter, we should not sweep under the carpet the lessons we learnt in the last 40 days. They are meant to strengthen and make us better human beings?

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    Cake

    The birthday coup

    About a month before, I decided not to celebrate my 50th birthday for some reasons; I just wanted it to pass by like a beautiful yacht at night: unnoticed, and I made this very clear to my wife severally. She never argued. While I felt she was sensitive to my feelings, I also decided to be on my guard just in case she decided to be “mischievous.”

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    family

    Re: family reconciliation

    I was at St. Peter and Paul Catholic Church, Baruwa, Iyana Ipaja, Lagos, on Sunday, February 28, 2016, at the instance of the Priest-in-Charge, Rev. Fr. Theodore Martinos, to give a talk to kick start the parish’s Family Reconciliation Week. The talk was a cocktail of Conflict Resolution, Marital Communication and Forgiveness, three topics we have treated in this column.

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    Love

    Uberrima fides

    Insurance contracts, unlike most commercial contracts, are governed by utmost good faith (uberrima fides). Most other commercial contracts are governed by caveat emptor (let the buyer beware). Caveat emptor places the onus on the buyer to examine, judge and test a product before parting with money. Caveat emptor places the buyer at a disadvantage, especially when dealing with dubious sellers, even though laws have been enacted to redress the lopsidedness.

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    love

    Forgiveness

    I have always wanted to write on forgiveness since this column started, but never did. The opportunity came when I was chosen as the guest speaker at this year’s “A Day with the Archbishop” to mark the St. Valentine Day in the Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos. The topic: The Importance of Mercy in a World Searching for Love. Since forgiveness is a major component of mercy, I spent time reflecting on it. It then occurred to me why I have been unable to write on it. Writing on forgiveness is just as difficult as forgiving unless you are a hypocrite.

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    Prostitutes

    This is prostitution

    According to the story, a married mother of three in Benin, Edo State, gave her 22-year-old lover an overdose of sex enhancement drugs, causing the young man to have a permanent erection and unbearable penile pains. Sensing trouble, she fled the hotel. The report also said “the …woman normally comes to the hotel with the boy after dropping off her children in school… ‘She will be in the hotel from 8am till about 2pm, when she will go and pick the children from school.’”

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