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Marriage and Family

Assumptions2

love

Like many other readers, I was curious about the story with the headline: “woman in Australia crashes her own funeral, surprising husband who paid to have her killed” on Yahoo News. The story, which originally appeared in Chicago Tribune, was about an African couple based in Australia. According to the story, the husband, Balenga Kalala, hired hit men to kill his wife, Noela Rukundo. The assasins mercifully spared her life, but told the husband the assignment had been carried out. Five days later, Kalala organized Rokundo’s funeral. It was while mourners were leaving that Rokundo came out from where she has been observing her supposed funeral and confronted her husband.

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family

Sex education

The story said eight secondary school students, five boys and three girls, aged between 14 and 16, were arrested for being cult members. According to one of the girls, a 15-year-old, the leader of the cult, Sergeant, had sex with the three girls in his house before making incisions in their hands to draw their blood “and told us that we had joined his group.’’ Just like that. I doubt if sex was part of the initiation; the young man just wanted free sex with multiple partners simultaneously and “caught the three girls mugu.” This brings to fore the importance of teaching our daughters sex education and self-worth. A girl with self-worth does not surrender her body cheaply the way these three girls did.

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love

Privates

Privates, AKA genitals, hold the key to perpetuation of humankind. Penile matters are therefore serious matters. I have written about them before. Please take time to go through if you have not. But today I am revisiting for the sake of the young, the uninformed and the inexperienced, and because of the alarming increase in the number of penis enlargement adverts, products and “experts.”

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Marriage-Cartoon

Married, lonely

Tuesday, January 26, 2016, is Spouses Day, a day set aside to celebrate and honour our spouses. It is a day when we should not only tell our spouses we appreciate them, but prove it. Celebration of our spouses should actually be a daily and continuous activity, but this day is specially meant to draw attention to the need to appreciate our spouses. But how do you celebrate and appreciate your spouse in a marriage where either one or both spouses are lonely? One challenge some married people contend with is loneliness. It comes in many forms. We have grass widowhood.

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Sleep-cartoon

Wee-wee water

I was jolted a few days ago when I stumbled on a letter written by my nine-year-old son. I was the subject matter. The letter was addressed to no one, but he did ask God a few questions, so I assume he wrote it to God. My initial reaction was anger, then outrage. “What came over you, this boy?” I asked him. He later apologized. As my anger subsided, my mind went back to a little over 40 years ago, when I was his age. I did tackle my father, but not that hard. In fact, the only tackle I could remember, at nine, was when I had malaria. My father felt I was too weak to give myself my bath. After they had run the water, he took me into the bathroom and wanted to remove my clothes, but I resisted. He was stunned: “what do you have there that you are hiding, “he asked sarcastically, and stormed out.

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Love

Ohworode’s tips for longevity

Do you want to live long? If yes, read the secrets of longevity from his Royal Majesty, Ovie Richard Layeguen Ogbon, Ogoni-Oghoro 1, the Ohworode of Olomu Kingdom, Delta State: “First and foremost, the secret is God Almighty; it is a special gift from God to be alive till this moment. I cannot say because I am a king, hence I have long life…I take good care of myself, I don’t eat anyhow, I regulate whatever I eat and avoid any food that would have negative effects on my health.

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Pupils of Anchor Springfield during the 2013 Christmas party

Christmas is here again!

It is another festive season and I am feeling particularly happy and looking forward to Christmas. All my children were home from school eight days ago. I missed them and they apparently missed home. My eldest daughter and eldest son seem to have matured much more over the last three months, they are providing better leadership. But my 11-year-old son came home somewhat withdrawn.

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love

Mama’s Boys

Mama’s boys or mummy’s boys, if that suits you (I am old school, I was at a time when children called their mothers mama), are guys who are very close to their mothers. I am a mama’s boy and always will be. Even after two younger siblings were born, I still clung to mama as if I was her last card in those days.

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love-cartoon-girl

Courtship should be family affair

Recently, I visited an old friend. We had not seen for a while, but we kept in touch, via phone. In the course of the discussion, I asked about her husband. She told me that he has left her and moved in with his other “wife” (mother). I was not surprised because Tom (not his real name) was always very close to the mother. In addition, the marriage is dead in intent and purpose and now exists only on the marriage certificate. Then I threw the bombshell; I told her I knew from day one that the marriage was not going to last. She was stunned. “Why didn’t you tell me,” she asked.

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Solomon Dalong

He is also minister of youth

“Youth” has become the Esau of the Ministry of Youth and Sports. “Sports” has usurped its pre-eminent position. “Youth” is an orphan, nobody to pursue its case. But hawks and doves are hovering all over, “protecting” the interest of sports. Some are sincere; others are just there for selfish reasons. Unless the minister is purpose-driven, they will confuse him. He will never be able to carry everybody along because there are various contending cliques. That is why some well-known sports personalities keep away from the politics around the “sports minister.”

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love22

Purposeful living

Last week, we advised governments at all levels to come up with programmes to stem the increasing youths’ unemployment. But youths also need to help themselves because “private victories must precede public victories.” Many youths do not live purposefully and are ill-prepared and ill-equipped to take advantage of available opportunities.

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Cult clash

Nigeria’s ticking time bomb

Two weeks ago, my mother-in-law told me that parents were relocating their daughters from a particular village in Delta State. Cultists (youths of between 12 and 20 years) have taken over the village and are impregnating helpless young girls, who are surrendering to the cultists’ advances for fear of attack on them and their families. In Ughelli, my birthplace, also Delta State, cult groups (youths) have taken over.

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love

Marital communication

While going through my archive, I found out that I made a promise since December 1, 2013, to write on communication in marriage on this column. A promise is a debt and it is better paid late than never fulfilled, so here we go. By now every married person or persons preparing for marriage ought to know that good and effective communication is an essenco (essenco means essential commodity, for the younger ones who were not born or were very young in the early 80s) to the success of every marriage.

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