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Marriage and Family

That “seven-year-old boy”

Boy allegedly lynched in Lagos for stealing garri

For Nigeria to be clean, everybody needs to keep his corner clean

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“Common sense is (really) not common”

“Common sense is not common.” This was one of our popular sayings and jokes in the university. But the more I think about it, run it through my mind and apply it to situations in life, the more it makes sense. Many people come short on issues you assume they know due to beclouded senses and inexperience. Recently I was listening to a radio programme where the presenter was seeking advice for a young man.

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The human mind

It was one of those days in the University of Nigeria, Jackson Building (Mass Communication Department), to be specific. One of my schoolmates had been getting under my skin. He had this annoying habit of patting guys on the bum. On this day, I anticipated he was going to do it again and beat off his hand as it was moving towards my backside.

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Time for sports for the inmates

@ 50, Pension to the rescue

The pension scheme has a tremendous ability to provide the working class comfort when they retire. Over time, government has rolled out policies, the PenCom Act 2004 as amended in 2014 being one of them, to enhance workers welfare, especially when they retire, but many small businesses neglect or dodge their implementation.

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@ 50, you can begin anew

As some people clock 50 years, they begin to stare at retirement with anxiety. Many people put in 30 to 40 years before retirement. During these years of active service, some acquire reasonable assets and wealth to retire on. But it is not so for some; turning 50 becomes nightmarish because they realize they are getting to the end of their working life with little or nothing to fall back on in retirement.

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“Big for nothing, good for nothing”

There is this diminutive and bovine-faced, but immensely gifted, intelligent and very versatile chief executive officer. He had a tall, stupendously handsome, but very lousy and unserious subordinate (let us call him Handsome). The CEO could barely stand him; he hesitated but very little in calling him, “Big for nothing” and “Good for nothing,“ especially if he bungled an official assignment, which was pretty often.

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Customised conflict resolution mechanisms

I have been observing this young couple in church since the Sunday after their wedding. They are always on suit-and-suit (clothes made from the same fabric). Over the years, they have had three children and they still wear suit-and-suit to church every Sunday. I saw them again last Sunday and it just occurred to me that this suit-and-suit might be one of their customized conflict resolution mechanisms (personal ways of resolving differences).

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Mental disability only

I read many novels in those days. But age, new responsibilities and interests have altered my focus. But I cherish the knowledge I acquired from these novels. I remember something I read in one of the novels. A man got paralysed and found himself unexpectedly in a wheelchair. He was naturally downcast and demoralized; life became meaningless. That was when somebody close to him gave him a wakeup call. He told him to stop wallowing in self pity; a man lives not by his ability to run around, but by what he’s got between his temples (his brain).

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Rape and incest, a big shame!

“I started sleeping with my 15-year-old daughter sometime in January after I lost my job.” This is part of the confession of a 41-year-old father in Vanguard, June 28, 2016. He claims frustration over the loss of his job led him to alcoholism and incest. But he was still sober enough to sleep with his daughter only after his wife has gone to work. He therefore knew full well that what he was doing was wrong.

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President Buhari

Rascally breeding

Monday, July 11, is World Population Day, a day set aside by the United Nations Development Programme since 1989 to focus on the urgency and importance of population issues globally. In the last 300 years, especially, the world’s population has exploded. According to available records, the world’s population hit the one billion mark for the first time in 1804. It took about 123 years for the world to double its population to two billion. By 1959, however, it increased to three billion, four billion 1974, five billion 1987, six billion 1999 and it hit seven billion by October 2011. It is expected to hit eight billion by 2025.

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Still on getting our priorities right

Two weeks ago, we talked about getting our priorities right as spouses and parents. This is just an addendum. I do not know what the person who coined the phrase “better half” had in mind, but spouses must strive to be just that in every sense of the phrase to their wives/husbands. As a better half you have an obligation to make your spouse a better person. It is, therefore, a failing if after a while in matrimony, your spouse is worse than before you met him/her. Complement his/her strength and make up for his/her weaknesses. Your spouse should feel incomplete without you in the normal everyday living. We know we are mortals and dispensable, but as long as you breathe, be indispensable in spouse’s life. You are on shaky grounds in your marriage if your spouse can operate as if you do not exist, as if he/she is whole. If he/she is whole, who are you half to (we are not even talking of “better half” now)?

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