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She’s using our son as a bargaining chip

DearBunmi,

About three years ago, against my better judgment, I went out with this girl who was tagged an ‘easy lay’ by the boys. All I wanted was a bite at the cherry like

everybody was having, but she later told me she was pregnant. I denied the pregnancy outright but gave her money to have an abortion.

Unknown to me, she did no such thing and with my mum’s connivance, she had a baby boy. As luck would have it, the boy looked so much like me that I fell in love with him. I decided to support her and my son any way I could.

I got married last year and this girl was furious. She has now refused to let me see my son on a regular basis. Whenever she wants me to see him, she would bring him to my matrimonial home knowing my wife’s child is a girl. She’s decided to call the boy “Junior” without even consulting me.

She’s sworn I would never have another son for what I did to her. But what did I really do but to stand up to my responsibility? I want peace in my life and she’s

the only one who can decide to leave my new family alone.

Albert by e-mail.

Dear Albert,

Your ex couldn’t obviously handle the fact that you found her good enough to sleep with but not good enough to marry. You have to make her see that you have another life now and should stop blackmailing you with your son.

Admittedly, you love this boy, but you have to make her stop using him as a bargaining chip. You have to put your foot down about her coming to your matrimonial home. If she blackmails you by withdrawing contact with your son, call her bluff. Believe me, the tougher you are in dealing with her, the quicker she’ll see the light if she values her son’s well-being.

 


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