By UDEME ARCHIBONG
THE GOVERNING LAWS OF LIFE (4)
THE LAW OF CONTROL
“You feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are in control of your own life, and you feel negative about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are not in control or that you are controlled by some external force or influence”.21
The law of control is the summarized version of the “whys” behind the events or happenings in your life that shapes your response which determines the results you produce in life. When you feel that you are in charge of your own life determining its direction then you have an internal sense of control, the stress of living fade away and your performance becomes elevated as well as the quality of your well-being. People with an internal sense of control look inward to trace the cause of the outward events of their lives. They take responsibility for the outcome of their lives; good or bad. These category of people perceive life as a “do it yourself project”. Their emotional life is not determined by the behavior of others. They do not depend on their spouse to change, the economy to change etc for their lives to change. They believe that if their lives must change its up to them.
External sense of control is when you feel that someone or something out there in the environment is running your life and that you are helpless in dictating the direction of your life with its attendant consequences of high stress and low performance. External sense of control pre-supposes that your life is determined by an external force such as Genetics-your DNA or the inheritable tendencies. Another external force is that your upbringing; childhood experiences has shaped the way you are and the direction of your life and there is nothing you can do about it. You may feel that your boss, spouse, teenage kid, economic situation or national policies, someone or something in your environment is in control of your own life. It is the abdicating of the responsibility of your life to someone or something in the environment. These categories of people feel victimized; helpless through life. When we feel that our lives are being controlled by the behavior of others, it means that we have lost our grip over minds to negative emotions which require negative thoughts to feed the negative feelings. Do we take ownership of our lives? The law of control determines the way you interpret and respond to the events or outcomes in your life. It is how you perceive the happenings in your life.
Internal sense of control-the explanatory style says, “I made it happen; good or bad; “I caused it; I am in control; I am responsible.” External sense of control-the explanatory style says, “It’s never me; someone or something made it happened, good or bad” “You come through for me”; “You take care of me” “My life is assigned to you, so you must manage my life for me”; “You are responsible for me”
The journey of taking charge of your own life and directing it begins with taking charge of your own mind and directing your thoughts.Taking control of your life is taking credit for your successes and responsibility for your failures. It is controlling your thoughts, feelings, words and behavior to produce the results you desire. It is worthy to note that you cannot control the behavior or attitude of others towards you and some happenings in life. The central point is the control of self; you are the only person you can control. And when you control self you influence people and the events of your life positively. When you gain mastery of your thoughts you gain mastery of your life. You can take immediate control of your life by identifying the cause and effect of the area of your life you want to change and then take appropriate action to change your beliefs, behavior, actions and even inaction to produce the desired result. You can simply leave a situation that is running your life negatively if it is appropriate or you can focus your attention on something positive. Having a clear vision for your life and a goals program enable you to take charge of your life. Taking charge of your life is “charging the battery” that powers your mind to light up happiness and success in your life.
THE LAW OF CORRESPONDENCE:
“Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world; it corresponds with your dominant patterns of thinking
Once upon a time, during the emergence of computers Zig Ziglar convinced of the immense benefits that will accrue to his company decided to purchase a computer for his organization. Zig Ziglar bragged about the computer wherever he went. However, six months after the purchase of the computer he changed his mind; he decided to sell the computer. All that could ever go wrong went wrong with the computer. Zig Ziglar Corporation was overbilling, under-billing, late-billing and early-billing customers. The computer that was designed to be of immense help became a total disaster. At the nick of time before the computer could be sold out, a friend walked in and said to Zig Ziglar, “Mr. Zig Ziglar, we can make that computer of yours laugh and talk and whistle and sing. Why we can make it work.” Ultimately, the computer did work with perfect accuracy. What was the magic? Obviously, the input was changed. And when the input was changed the output automatically changed.
Conversely, if Zig Ziglar’s friend had just hit the print key of the computer in order to correct the mistake, he attempts to erase the typo off from the print-out. After erasing the typo from the print-out, he hit the print key again and out comes the same typo. In frustration he erases the typo even harder and hit the print key again and out comes the re-occurring problem. The source or root cause of the problem is in the input; the programming. To change the output the input; the programming must first be changed because input determines output; garbage in, and garbage out.
Our outer world; the condition and circumstances of our lives are a merciless reflection of our inner world. In other words, the outer condition of our lives is a reflection of the inner condition of our minds.
“What determines what comes out of you is simply what is already in you. Your life is a manifestation of what is in you. Your marriage is a manifestation of what is in you concerning marriage. Your children are a manifestation of what is in you concerning children. Your finances are a manifestation of what is in you concerning finances. Your business or job is a manifestation of what is in you concerning work.”
Our inner world is made up of the mental world; emotional world and spiritual world which create our outer world which is our physical world. Our inner world is the seeds and roots that produce our outer world or the results in our lives. Therefore, if you want to change the results that are evident in your life you must first change your mental, emotional and spiritual world; to change the fruits you must first change the seeds or the roots. In life, you never “do” to become something but rather you become something to do something. In other words, “being” precedes “doing.” The state of your life corresponds with your state of mind. To alter the outer state of life, you must alter the inner state of mind. To improve your circumstances you must first improve yourself.
When you change yourself everything around you changes.
File: Success Recipe