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Relationship: My step-brother wants us to date

Dear Bunmi,

My mother re-married over six years ago and we moved into my step-father’s house. He has three children and I’ve always found his eldest child good-looking. He is in the university and I’m at the nursing school. I’m 23 and he’s two years older.
About five months ago, we finally agree to having mutual feelings of love and we kissed a lot. We recently took things a step further by making love. I love him so much and he feels the same.

Our parents don’t know what is going on. He says we have nothing to fear as we are not related by blood, that legally, there’s nothing stopping us from getting married.
Is he right?

Patricia, by e-mail.

Dear Patricia,
Your step-brother is technically right. What you are both doing isn’t illegal because you and him are not actually blood relatives.
If you were close blood relatives, it would definitely be against the law.

Having clarified this, you need to be extremely careful. The fact that you find yourselves under the same roof could be responsible for such a closeness, rather than genuine compatibility between the two of you.

I would take things slowly if I were you. Ethnically, the society frowns at such a union between children who are legally related.
Put bluntly, sleeping with your mother’s husband’s son sucks! And if things eventually go wrong between you, going back to the brother/sister relationship you had before may be very tricky and uncomfortable.


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