By Aunty Julie
I met a guy at a party and fell in love with him. But all these while, it’s like the love is one-sided and I seem to be the one showing all the love. He’s so dormant about everything and it’s frustrating. I like the guy but I want to get him to like me. How can I do that?
As a young lady, it’s normal to start having feelings for other people. It might be a friend you’ve had for a long time, someone in your trade or someone you know through activities or hobbies outside of school or work. Unfortunately, we can’t make someone like us.
But if we start to talk with them and get to know them, they can learn more about us and they might start to like us or look at us in a different way, as more than just a friend and possibly a girlfriend.
It helps if you have something in common with them, like a favourite issue or football team—anything where you share a common interest. This will give you something to talk and have a connection about. Once you start talking to them and feel more comfortable, you may get a sense of if they like you or not.
If you’re feeling brave, you could ask them how they feel about you or let them know that you like them, and see what their response is.
A lot of people get embarrassed about telling someone they like them. Instead of saying it directly, you could show him in other ways, such as mucking around and trying to have fun with him, teasing him in a playful way, or by flirting with him. Sometimes it helps if you know one of their friends and can find out that way if they like you, if they already have a girlfriend/boyfriend, or if they have someone else.
The best thing to do is be yourself when you’re around him. This way, he will get to know you for who you are. If he likes you, that’s great. If not, there are plenty of guys out there who will.
I really want to ask her out but I get so nervous
Dear Aunty Julie,
I really like this course mate of mine. She is so nice and caring and kind and generous, and also really pretty. I’ve tried flirting with her but it doesn’t work. Also, I always try to say hi to her seductively so it sounds sexy, but her voice is so cute and it makes me feel dreamy.
I’ve caught her gaze in class a few times and her big brown eyes are so beautiful. I have also hugged her once and I think I was so caught up day dreaming that I didn’t hear her saying to let go. I also play dumb so she can help me with my projects. I really want to ask her out but I get so nervous trying to ask. How do I do it?
The quickest way is to just ask her on a date, straight up. Something like during the weekend . But if you feel like it’s too direct for you, maybe there are some other ways you can spend more time together, like hanging out in a group, or helping with homework, or even doing something together where you share the same interest. Basically, it boils down to a bit of creativity, patience and courage.
You choose your own adventure. Honesty helps. If you’re happy to hang out as friends, then get to know her that way. Friendship can be the best start to some fantastic relationships.
But if you’re frustrated because really you want a more romantic relationship, the only way to fix that is to ask her out straight up. You’ll risk rejection, but you won’t waste time agonizing about whether she likes you or not.
Just remember that everyone has personal preference about their own taste, and it’s human nature that sometimes someone will be attracted to you but you might not like them. It’s just preference. I hope this lady shares your feelings and you have a great time together. You certainly deserve to have a fun, romantic relationship. Everyone does. Enjoy yourself, whatever happens in your own adventure, and feel free to write back!
Should I continue trying for her ?
Hello Aunty Julie,
I’m a 28 year old man. I’ve loved this lady for two years but sometimes when I talk to her, it feels like she’s just talking to me so as not to offend me. I also feel like she’s never noticing me but everyone does.
I have recently been asked out by some ladies in the past two months and I rejected all of them because there was the one lady who I truly care about. I need help on whether I should continue trying for her or to give up and walk away.
I really admire you for that. Sounds like you’re reaching the end of your patience though. Should you give it one last try, or is it time to let go and move on? How much do you like her? Is there anyone else who you find attractive? If there is, what would you lose by starting something with them? Let’s argue it out…
There are so many ladies you could choose from. Ladies came up to you, and you weren’t even trying. Massive chance that there’s another one who is just as good as this one you’re after. Good chance that you will find another who’s even better—there’s always that possibility. You can always be surprised by something turning out even better than you had imagined.
So, stop wasting time and energy waiting for this lady. She clearly is not interested in you, she’s just being polite. I mean, she doesn’t even notice you, but everyone else does. But if she’s the one you truly care about, make sure you do everything you can to build a relationship with this lady. You should either wait patiently for her, or you should do as much as you can to get her attention and ask her out until she says yes or no for good.
So, what do you think? Which one wins: option A or option B? If you’re having trouble, go with how your gut feels, or your heart. Then, if there’s anything that stops you from choosing A or B 100%, ask yourself, what do I need to feel more happy with this decision? Maybe you need to check out if there’s another lady you like first. Maybe you need to talk with this lady a little, or ask her something. You choose.
He proposed love to me and I blocked him
Several months ago, I met a guy online through Facebook. He was nice, and as we started talking over the next month or two, he expressed his affection towards me. He was 36 by the way.
He told me I was perfect, beautiful, that he loved me. I got nervous because a total stranger was telling me these things, so I blocked him. Now I feel guilty, because he wasn’t really doing anything wrong. What should I do?
His comments were nice but a bit over the top and it sounds like they made you feel uncomfortable. When something makes us uncomfortable it’s okay to protect ourselves. Sometimes, guys or ladies can say things that are over the top and it’s too much too soon because we feel like they don’t even know us.Are you worried about him? Is there anyone else on Facebook who knows him too and can let you know he’s okay?
On the internet sometimes, people pretend to be someone young to contact ladies for creepy reasons. If you ever feel uncomfortable, you have a right to stop it or leave. Look after yourself .