By Sheila Sanda
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
A broken heart is like an elephant – it seldom forgets. The emotional connection between soul mates is a bond of human love. This love can be saved, respected and prized, or it can be trampled on, buried, abandoned and even destroyed.
Our humanness allows us to bond deeply with another human being and when that bond is between “true” soul mates, divine complements, it is meant to last forever. Because divine complements are connected at three levels, the emotional, the soul and the spirit, letting go when the relationship is over can be extremely difficult.
So much so that many remain in an impoverished relationship far too long or emotionally attached years after the breakup.
Lingering emotional bonds can cause one to pine for the love that was lost. Clutching onto the good memories even when the bad memories out number the good. Prolonged emotional attachment is often the result of over dependency on the relationship as the primary source of love.
The loneliness and unbearable loss consume one’s thoughts and revisiting the memories perpetuates the grief. Some may never be able to let go completely and can even sink into a dark depression, isolating themselves from others.
They find it unimaginable that they could be happy with someone else. Even when all reason and logic tells them it’s over and for the most part have moved on, the subconscious can hold on to the painful emotional residue for years.
Embedded grief may resurface years later especially if triggered by another loss.
Letting go of the emotional bonds requires self-love and patience. For most, letting go is much like accepting death.
One must come to terms with their soul mate’s absence and set them free with love and forgiveness. The heart needs to grieve and will mend with some time, support and healing medicine.
Complete forgiveness can set the heart free to love again.
The soul’s bonds can also present challenges after separation. Certain connections can persist and are experienced as anything from being tuned in from time to time to sharing a space that feels crowded and overrun with unwanted emotions most of the time.
It’s not unusual for soul mates to sense when the other is in danger or has suffered a loss and even to well up suddenly with unwanted emotions. Sometimes, the information comes forth in a dream. Night after night, a mate visits trying to communicate their desire for reconciliation or simply to express their continued love. One woman described her mate’s attempts to re-establish the relationship through the dream scape as relentless.
In her last dream, he asked her to call him.
These kinds of experiences constitute a strong bond that’s undeniable and that can be difficult to break. For those remaining loyal and steadfast to the promises they made, their willingness to see their divine complements through tough times may add to their own suffering. They may unconsciously run to the rescue by taking on their partner’s karma.
This kind of loyalty may become a burden too heavy to cope with. A cord connecting one soul to the other often attaches when the human bond is great. Attached at the heart, it functions as a kind of lifeline for the soul that is dependent on the other. Cutting love cords is not really, but keeping the cords from reattaching is a more a difficult task.
The phenomenon called cording can be repeated as much as 20 times a day. A soul using the life force of another seems to get its way more often than not.
One bond between “true” soul mates, divine complements, can never be severed. The signature that links them at the dimension of spirit is based on eternal promise established at the beginning of the creation.
It is an eternal bond housed at the heart of the spirit in a dimension beyond ordinary cognition, only perceived by those who have awakened to its spiritual power. The recognition of the eternal promise does not mean that soul mates are meant to hold on to a relationship that has ended.
To live with the kind of poverty of love that results in abuse, disconnection or perpetual discontent only produces more suffering and heartache. Letting go may be the most loving thing a soul mate couple can do. With forgiveness comes greater acceptance and a higher volume of love, a love that is less attached, full-hearted, at peace and complete.