Youth restiveness is a fall-out of failed parenting – Iyabo Ladipo

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By JOSEPHINE IGBINOVIA
A Lawyer turned parenting coach, Mrs.Iyabo Ladipo is also the CEO of Double Portions Bakery in Lagos.  She is very passionate about bringing up children with the right values, because she believes that the laissez-faire attitude of parents towards the grooming the children is largely responsible for the breakdown of order in the society.  She shared this with Vista Woman recently.

Hear her:

Work with children

I started work with children in 2002. After a while, I found that there was need to talk with parents. Hence, in 2005, I started a parenting seminar which I called ‘Mum’s Tea Party’. From the seminars, a book evolved which I titled ‘Parenting without tears’. That was in 2009.

Since then, I’ve continued to work with parents by speaking at schools, seminars, religious settings, etc. on the importance of good parenting. I believe parenting isn’t an issue we should take lightly. We’re talking about youth restiveness in some regions in the country presently, but we seem not to recognize the truth which is that youth restiveness is the outcome of failed parenting.

*Iyabo

Because I own a bakery, in 2002, I started training people in catering, including pastries and baking. During the holidays, parents would come to enroll their children to learn how to cook. Over time, I discovered that a lot of children do not know how to do so many things simply because they haven’t been taught. So, I began to teach them from the scratch; we would all go to the market to buy the necessary items together because a lot of them had never been to the market.

The truth is that there are so many things we’re not teaching our children these days, including our native languages, because we feel we’re busy! We cannot continue to say “These children don’t know” when we know we’ve not taught them. I am a Lawyer by profession, but my mother was a Home Economist. So, from her, I learnt most of the things I now do today; including baking!

I learnt them because she taught me and got me involved as she did them. In the process of working together, parents are opportuned to chat with their children, and also instill in them the values of life. What I enjoy in working with these children is not just teaching them how to cook; but influencing them positively. This is because we chat about different issues; especially moral values, in the process of teaching them to cook.

Get-rich-quick syndrome

I remember when I had to talk to young intakes in the bank many years ago. So I asked them: “Where do you think you’ll be in ten years time?”, and a lot of them said they would have been on their own by then. I began to wonder because that will only be possible when you defraud a company!

Life is in stages and our young people need to understand that. Which money will you make in ten years that will be enough for you to live on for the rest of your life? Though everybody wants wealth, we have to be sure the sort of wealth we get is one we’ve worked for; not one from the blues. Success is a product of hardwork. We know our system is very fraudulent, but I think we have to keep fighting it.

Youth restiveness and laziness

Like I said before, all these are products of failed parenting. I remember the first time I traveled down from the east by road with our company vehicle because we were on a tour of our branches. That was when I was in the banking industry. We got to a place around Warri, and suddenly, my driver just said, “Madam, these boys don come”, and by the time I looked round, I saw that we were surrounded by young men!

Suddenly, they started shouting, “Madam, anyway, we’re sending you! Go and tell government we’re suffering here. We are ….”. But guess what? When we were building one of our branches that we had visited before that encounter, some young people came and stopped the construction.

When we asked what they wanted, they insisted they wanted money. We told them to bring us people from amongst them to employ, but they said they didn’t want employment! Eventually, we had to give them money and they left. Now, will you say those are serious people?

They don’t want to work but want to spend money, and sit as big boys. This attitude must have contributed to why they couldn’t cope when they were sent for courses abroad! They are used to not working! How can we be blaming government when we ourselves are lazy?

No sympathy!

I’m sorry, but I’m not sympathetic at all on all the issues of Niger Delta! Have you thought of the fact that right next to the Niger Delta is Onitsha  and Nnewi where you have young men designing machines and manufacturing all manner of things? Why are these ones not troubling government?

Even in the north, many are so used to collecting money every Friday at Mosques from ‘Alhajis’ by begging, instead of going to work! Why can’t the Alhaji(s)set up industries where these people could work and get paid? In Lagos also, you find young men sitting in their fathers’ houses, selling property over and over again, because they cannot go out to work! Many have become so used to waiting for their grandfathers’ properties!

That’s why you find that women are becoming more successful than men! Yes! Most women know they cannot reap from the properties, so, they have to work their way for a better life! Everything, like I’ve repeated, boils down to failed parenting because parents have failed to instill the values of hard work in children.

I would advise that all parents rise up to their duties.

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