By Florence Amagiya
It is terrible what some men can do because of the inability to control themselves. Maybe, it shouldn’t be called a lack of control, but an intentional act done to spite their wives or the women in their lives.
My ex- husband is a good example of the epitome of lack of control in men. Each time I think of his last escapades, l still wonder if it is possible for Femi not to have known that Amanda, the lady he met abroad is still the same childhood best friend whose photographs he had seen severally in my collections.
Amanda and I did everything together while we were growing up. We went to the same primary school and the same University. We were even posted to the same state during youth service. We had everything in common except for the men in our lives. In fact, we nearly liked the same men and it showed each time one of us brings home a guy.
Amanda got a visa to Britain, but it didn’t stop our friendship. We couldn’t always talk much because of the expensiveness of international calls, we couldn’t even do mails because Cyber café was just a new development and computers was just finding their way into the country to the very rich.
So as I was getting married, Amanda couldn’t make it to the wedding because she didn’t have a stay at that time and we decided that she shouldn’t come because she might not be able to go back if she dares it. The marriage formality was done and life went to normal with the twins coming and the girl following two years after.
It was exactly five years into my marriage when this seemingly impossible episode took place. My husband had being a playboy, but for some time, he had being acting like a changed man. So l thought all was well with my family. I thought he had finally settled down to enjoy being a dad to our children and a husband and friend to me.
His company sent him abroad for a six months course and we practically spoke every other day while he was there. He returned back and I got a call from my best friend, she said she was coming to Nigeria for her marriage and l was happy for her, she also said that she was already pregnant for the man in question.
Amanda came to town and rented a place, so most of the times l visit her because Femi returns from the office late and the children stay back at school for their lessons. I found out her husband to be’s name is also Femi with my Femi’s surname. I was surprised, but saw it as a coincidence; it was on one of my visits to her place that l met her fiancé who happens to be my own …
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No way! – Ematai, Artiste
This is a very difficult one and I do not think I can take it from my husband if l were to be in the wife’s shoes, no matter the amount of begging from him. And as for my friend, it is not her fault because she hasn’t met my husband or seen his photograph.
My husband took advantage of an innocent woman by lying that he wasn’t married. I cannot live with any man who could lie that bad to the extent of doing that to somebody who hasn’t offend him before. It only means that this type of husband would one day have a home number two and you the wife wouldn’t know a thing about it until probably he dies.
I would walk away with children and l hope my friend does the same thing too because what he has done to me, he would do it to another.
Forgive him, but with… Chidiebere Aneke, Actress
It would be a tough one for me because the law says ignorance is not an excuse. Why did he cheat on me in the first place? Honestly, I would be devastated, but l will ask God for strength to forgive him and still stay in the marriage.
I naturally hate divorce and I am sure my own parents must have passed challenges while l was growing up. It is not the problem that is the issue, but how you overcome it. As for my friend, she would keep the pregnancy because there would not be any thought of abortion from my angle. Together we shall see what God has in mind for us at the long run, but as for sharing my husband, l would not ever do that.
Walk away- Ogechi Okafor, Artiste
He is claiming he didn’t recognize my own best friend, but he has being seeing her photographs since he married me. He is also aware that she lives in Britain and yet he claims it is a mistake? What was he planning to do, to have another home somewhere while l live like the fool?
I do not think l married a fool as a husband who would not know the difference between a photograph of five years and the real person of today. I believe my girl friend would love me enough to leave that type of man for good. And as for me, that marriage is over because I would walk away and pick up the pieces of my life without a thought of him.