With Florence Amagiya
It is a fact that women are like flowers that withers at night time. A man on the other hand can be liken to wine, he gets better by the season and best when it is old. No wonder, the wine is best served when it is old.
My case can be liken to the flowers because l am a woman and l have an expiry date. I have been married for twenty years and in those twenty years; I slept with my husband only once. Unfortunately, l didn’t take-in and I wish l had because I would have been consoled. Yes I would have been a happy person because the story won’t be told this way.
My name is Ufuoma and like the name explains, l am from that part of Nigeria where married women must stay faithful to their vows or face the consequence. The culture doesn’t care if she is not getting any show at all.
So it has been terrible and excruciating for me all these years. It is not because I would naturally have gone out of my matrimonial bed, but because my husband hasn’t been home in a long, long while and while he was here, l only slept with him on my wedding night.
I had thought about it and each time I decide to end the union, he would beg that I wait for awhile. It is twenty years today, l am close to breaking point and his family members are not helping matters…
Hear what our stars have to say
Age not on my side!
Olivia Gilbert, Actress
Marriage is for better or for worst, but certainly not in this case. I don’t see the reason someone should marry me and abandon me for twenty years; we are not talking twenty days here! Who knows if he is remarried with kids? Women are like flowers; we have time to shine and time to fade.
His journey abroad for greener pasture is certainly not for my good. If it is for my good he would have had me with him. How do we begin to raise a family when he has been gone twenty years? I will simply walk away.
Uche Joan Iwuanyanwu, Actress
It is a tough one, but I’m going to give it a try if I was the woman in this case, waiting for a man this long is far from possible. But as a newly married woman, I would not want my husband to leave me for a second let alone immediately after our wedding?
Secondly, any man I can love enough to get married to would not have made such a serious decision without letting me know first. And if he had told me before the marriage I won’t marry him. That’s because I cannot be married that long to myself. Twenty years of no physical contact? That’s saying we have been married for twenty years and spent only one night together?
He is selfish
Joan Agabi, Actress
There is always two sides to every coin and every story and for that reason there should be consideration. Why did my husband relocate and what was supposed to happen? After putting that into consideration, I will walk away as a woman knowing that l don’t have all the time in the world. I would advise my fellow woman to do the same also.
Twenty years is not a joke, her best child bearing years had been wasted! She should pick up the pieces of her life and make the most of what’s left.
Buchi Jeffery, Actress
If I am in such a mess of a marriage then l will do the best thing since l cannot help myself according to the tradition of my people. I will walk out of that marriage because time waits for no one.
He can have children at fifty but l cannot. If you add twenty years to my present age, how old would l be then?