By Florence Amagiya
When I heard the news of how a young, handsome man gruesomely murdered his beloved wife who was the mother of his daughter and the bread winner of his home, and how the wife until her death went through series of unreported beating episodes from him.
I knew it was time for women to understand the true meaning of love, women must know where to draw the line and when to cry for help because it is too late to cry when the head is off.
Titilayo was a Syke Bank Staff; she was due for her annual leave and promotion. According to the news, on many occasions, she would distribute copies of her husband’s Curriculum Vitae to colleagues in the office because she was eager to see him get a job.
Akolade, however, never appreciated her. Sometimes, he would seize her cheque book, ATM cards and her car keys as punishment whenever they fought even though she was the one sustaining the family financially.
Although Titilayo came to the office with injuries, the source said nobody suspected that she was being abused because she did not discuss her problem with her colleagues.
She came once with a bandage and we asked her what happened, she told us that she fell from ‘okada’. Another time, it was bruises on her arms and she said she fell at home.
Titi was small in nature, while her husband is big. It was obvious that she was so in love with her husband and do not want anything to go wrong with the relationship.
At their residence, a neighbour said the Arowolos had frequent quarrels, which often resulted in fights. It cannot be said what led to the murder, but because it rained heavily that Friday morning, nobody heard their noise.
The next day which was Saturday, her body was discovered; no one expected this from the husband. According to the news, the murder scene was gory. Titi Arowolo was stabbed severally in her chest and her eyes gouged out; in fact, her husband mutilated her. The pictures taken by the neighbours with their cameras are not sights for the eyes.
“Kolade escaped on Friday after the murder when some policemen apprehended him somewhere around Aye Bus Stop. He was covered in blood and even passersby thought he had been involved in an accident.
When they stopped him and started quizzing him, Kolade collapsed on the ground pretending to have fainted. As they were making efforts to revive him, he immediately got up and rushed across the road, nearly killing himself in the process because he was knocked down by a car.
To the surprise of those present, he just picked himself up, boarded a bike and fled. His car was immediately seized and taken to the Aswani Police Station, Isolo.”
‘He came back to his flat the next day, after he had murdered Titi perhaps, to pick up a few things before making good his escape. The policemen had already laid ambush and were waiting for him.
Akolade was arrested on Saturday at his residence in Isolo. His wife’s family was contacted and they have taken custody of their daughter. Kolade is now in the custody of the SCID, Panti and when Kolade was quizzed, he simply said, “It was the devil’s handiwork.”
The likely questions which come to every Nigerian with blood flowing in his or her vein will be: Is this how to show true love? Why would you steak with a man that beats you up at a slightest misunderstanding? Why pretend all is well in a relationship when it is not? Would you still love even when your life is at stake? Does fighting make a relationship stronger? How would you manage it if you find out after your marriage that your husband is a wife-beater?
I don’t think pretence should be a virtue needed in any relationship because it will only lead to unforeseen anger when it is dragged for too long. On the other hand, communication is only necessary when the other party is interested.
Marriage is for better and for worse, but it doesn’t mean you won’t cry for help when it is most needed. Do not manage a relationship, especially if it is not working. Know when to walk away.
Beating is not a sign of love or a form of correction. It is only a sign that, that party is weak and that you might be allowing a future crisis if not checked. Remember a stitch in time saves nine.