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How long can you wait for a ’run away’ spouse?

Pretty Jennifer has been married to Stanley Jumbo  since 1999. Few months after their wedding, Stanley returned  to the United States where he  has been staying for more than 10 years now. Stanley who claims to be a medical doctor in the US  has not returned to his wife till date, neither has he communicated with childless Jennifer, who, despite pressures from friends and family members to remarry, has remained committed to her marital vows.

She is at the verge of giving up as  her husband’s absence seems to be unending. Stanley, she has confirmed, is healthy but has no proof if he is in another relationship. Even her family members have given up on her.  Do you think she’ll be making a mistake if she decides to give another relationship a shot? Should she keep waiting for him? What if he returns with another wife and children someday? All these and more are some of the questions bothering Jennifer,  and as usual, we have been able to do justice on the subject.
Read on:

Move on and forget him …. Etcetera, Musician

In trying to wait for this spouse, there are certain things that should be ascertained. We need to know if he is alive or dead. We need to know if he’s in jail, healthy or  if he is suffering from amnesia (a health condition that makes one forget everything about his past). I wouldn’t mind arranging a trip for my sister to go and make all these enquiries to know his true state. If it is confirmed that he’s alive and sound, then my sister will have to move on with her life.
I want you to understand that ten years is not the same as ten days. We’re talking about ten seasons here. It is very obvious that by this time, the man may have built another relationship and my sister cannot continue to wait for him. What if she continues to wait and in the process gets to the age of menopause? My sister becomes the fool because this guy may have fathered children somewhere.
The best thing to do is for her to move on in life. Don’t forget that every human being once in a while feels horny and I wouldn’t want my sister to flirt around while waiting for one guy who’s having a field day somewhere.

Remarry after 5yrs … Portia Yamahan,
Actress

Portia
Why on earth will I be waiting for a man who left me 10 years ago? What becomes of me if this man decides to remain abroad for the rest of his life? Any woman waiting for a man (husband) who’s been in-communicado for 10 years truly needs some kind of deliverance. Five to 10 years is too much a wait. I mean, even if she has no head, her family members should talk some sense into her, or maybe, she needs to go for medical check up to certify she’s okay. After three to five years of waiting, I should be able to decide what I want to do with my life. I can’t wait forever. I’ll surely start a new relationship and remarry in due time because it is obvious that he doesn’t remember I still exist. Even if we communicate and he still doesn’t come back in about 10 years, I won’t continue waiting for him,  especially where there’s no child from the relationship. At least, the child would have served as my consolation prize. What on earth should we be discussing on phone? No, my dear phone calls will not do.

Wait if you love him … Yinka Davies, Entertainer

The first question any woman in this condition must answer is whether she’s still in love with the man or not. And if she’s able to tell herself the truth, she’ll know whether to continue or not. If he’s not been communicating with  her but she’s still in love with him, she can keep waiting.
I’ve seen a woman who waited for 18 years and another one who waited for 25 years and later got their husbands back. In marriage, no other person has a right to come between the parties involved. If she’s been able to survive all these years, then I can’t advise her to quit now.  She’s the only one that can make up her mind on what she really wants because she has to follow her instinct. We can only pray for her to be able to take the right decision because some of these things happen in a way that we cannot explain.

Seek the face of God … Tiwa, Artiste

If I were in her shoes, I would just keep praying and fasting for it. When things like this happens, the only thing that is appropriate for us to do is to keep seeking the face of God.
I know that most of our men can’t wait for their women in matters like this but we should not judge with that because we are different from them. We are more emotional and soft and there are certain things men can take emotionally that we can’t absorb.


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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.