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Get Clear: What do you REALLY want?

Have you ever sat down and put in writing a detailed answer to the following question: “What do I desire to create in all aspects of my life?”Most people I encounter haven’t done this. While they may have a general sense of what they want to experience, they often couldn’t describe their vision for their life clearly.
Clarity is the first magical ingredient in making your dreams come true. If you aren’t sure about where you are headed or what your heart yearns for, you won’t be able to create it.
As Benjamin Elijah Mays said, “The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream…It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for.” It’s time to determine what you are aiming for in life!
We have to start somewhere. It simply takes a bit of time, energy and focus to craft your dream. It can be a fun process of self-discovery.
One of the most common things I find in working with my life coaching clients is that they don’t really know what they want. They all come to me wanting to feel better and to have their lives change. Yet, when I ask them exactly what type of change they want to make, they aren’t quite sure. They can describe what they DON’T like and what they DON’T want to experience. Even knowing this is an excellent place to start.
Don’t worry if you feel confused and uncertain at first. Many of my clients feel this and they are hesitant as they start through the process of self-discovery. I ask them to take a deep breath, lighten up and relax. They then begin to contemplate what they want to create in their health, finances, relationships, career and personal life.
At first they feel stuck or unsure. The voice of fear and self-doubt attacks them, calling them crazy for thinking outside the box and opening to their dreams. As we work together I pose questions to them to help them flesh out specifics of what they want to create in each aspect of life. With time and personal focus, they develop a magnificent picture of what they desire to experience in their life.
Once they can envision the life they yearn for, watch out World! Their outlook becomes hopeful. Excitement about life’s possibilities returns. Their energy surges. Then, each day, they take baby steps in their thoughts, words and actions to bring their dreams into reality. It’s wonderful to be part of this process!
I’d encourage you to start this process yourself. The first step to take in creating the life you long for is to get clear on what you want to create.
If you need clarity about what you want to create, I’d suggest the following helpful steps:
1. Stop saying you don’t know. Often we keep ourselves stuck by thinking and saying, “I just don’t know what I want to do,” you could replace these thoughts and words and say, “I am willing to listen to my heart. I can listen for the whispers of guidance from the Universe. With some soul searching and thought, the answers I am seeking emerge.”
2. Think back to who you were as a 5-, 10- and 15-year-old. What made you excited? What made your heart beat faster? Who were you? If you can’t remember, ask your parents or people who knew you at those points in your life. You will find clues to remembering what you are passionate about.
3. List on paper all the things you know that you don’t want to experience. Look at each item and see if you can transform it into a statement describing what you would like to experience.
4.Take time to DREAM again. Leave all the boundaries and fears behind. Answer the question: If I could do ANYTHING, absolutely ANYTHING I wanted to do with this area of my life, what would it be? Then write it all down on paper. Be creative and imaginative. Engage all your senses — use bright colors and draw it out on paper. Try to see, hear, taste, smell and touch your dreams. Let your inner body experience the emotions that you would have.
5. Start a dream board. Watch what you are drawn to as you look at magazines and newspapers: Are there particular words, pictures or ideas that generate enthusiasm for you? What do you want your life to look like? Cut out the images and words you find. Then glue them on a piece of paper or poster board. Your dream board is a collage you create that pictorially depicts all the aspects of your dream life. (Again, leave the fears behind and just have fun working with these ideas).
6. Ask God for direction. Then, take time for silence and LISTEN for answers. Ideas will emerge as you walk your life path. If the question is in your heart, then you are bound to find the answer. Open your eyes and ears because you never know when just the right someone or something might show up in your life to give you a clue or an idea that can lead you closer to knowing what you want to experience.
Your assignment this week is to take one area of your life (relationships, finances, health, career, contribution to your country’s progress) and begin to clarify your dreams in as much detail as possible. Use the above suggestions. Be playful as you do. Have fun with this assignment. Don’t think yet about “how” it is going to happen. This week is set aside solely for clarifying your dream.
I’d love to stay connected with you throughout the week . Why not join me on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube? I also have a free, daily inspirational email list that provides doses of encouragement, hope and coaching. To sign up, visit my website www.patriciaomoqui.com and put your email address in the red box called Food For Thought.


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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.