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Communication, time management keys to saving your marriage

By Folake Aina
Woman you need to trust me. I cannot lie to you. Many of you read last weeks article, and are so upset. You see the truth in it, but at the same time you are in that situation and so confused because you just do not know what to do. I hear you. So you get home everyday  between ten pm and eleven.

As much as I think that is ridiculous, we will work together. First and foremost, I know there are some jobs that are so demanding  and keep most women back at work till late. I agree. I appreciate the fact that if you are a career woman, and of course, you know that I advocate the fact that every woman must do something and be successful at it.

I know that there is no way you can be the boss at work and be effective if you are the first to rush off from work before your subordinates finish what they have to do. I also know that if you work under someone, you cannot just rush out of work before the work is done.

But let us reason together. I agree that if there is understanding between husband and wife, there are days that there is pressure at work, and there are things to do at work. I can imagine a day for instance when you are all working on a proposal or working on documents for a bid, that have to be submitted first thing the next day.

I have seen people work all night to achieve that. I can imagine in the civil service for instance a day when a great personality  is coming to your location, and you are all there waiting, and he got there very late. There will always be days like that both for men and woman, and on those days we expect  the support and understanding of our  spouses.

On days like that, I believe that  every woman knows that communication is key. You are in touch with your spouse every minute of the way through phone calls and texts, to let him know exactly what is going on. You cannot be non challant  and stay out of your home late without letting every one that needs to know, know where you are and what is happening with you.

What I do not agree with is having such a schedule every day. Many women own their own business, and come home at 10pm everyday. I believe that if you own your own business, there is a way you can work out your closing time, except you run a club house, and  of course your spouse must approve, and you must together find ways of spending time together.

There are so many women who leave  work early, but as a rule must stop at this place and that place, and this friend’s house, and that friend’s house, then they get stuck in traffic and get home late. I really do not think that is responsible.

Of course there will be days that you find yourself in that situation, and you must let your spouse know exactly  where you are and what is happening to you.

If you are that woman, you are not messing around, and genuinely, you have to work late and get home late everyday.  Something is wrong somewhere. Think about it. There is something wrong with your time management or the management of time in the organization that you work in.

You get to many offices these days, and all morning and all afternoon, everybody is watching African Magic, or jisting. You find everybody every where but behind their desk. The prime time for work is gossip time. They locate the offices of their friends and they stay hours gossiping…everyday. At 5pm, everyone gets to their tables and begins to work and treat files.

I do not know what kind of magic would keep you from getting home before 10pm. You left undone till evening, what you should have done in the morning. Some people on the other hand would spend all morning  and afternoon, everyday seeing visitors, and they are stuck with work all evening.

The solution many have to that is to have a set time or day to attend to visitors so that you can have time to do your official work, and close at the normal closing time, and get to your house in good time.

All I am saying is that you must work whatever you have to work for you. It all depends on how much priority you give to your home your children and your relationship.

Let us assume that you are in that situation, and genuinely, you leave your home everyday at 5am and get back home at 10pm everyday, and all you do from 7am when you get to your office and 9pm when you leave is work. I mean everyday of the week, you work 14 hours at work, you are in trouble.

I see you burning out very soon.  Take it easy. What you do is make sure your spouse understands, and you communicate regularly all through the day.  Also you must also know that you cannot work like that forever or for too long.

You must have your goals in place and decide for how long you agree to work this schedule. I believe your home and relationship is priority, so please do what it takes to make it right.


Disclaimer

Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.