Breaking News
Translate

I can’t to find you

If you’re interested in meeting new people, send fewer text messages and make more phone calls. For females, I advice you let a guy do more of the calling; if he wants you he will chase you, just be available. Spend less time downloading music for your iPod and spend more time listening to live music with friends. When you want to meet new people, spend less time in Internet chat rooms or on Internet social websites like MySpace or Facebook, and more time with real live people. Our current culture encourages too much isolation. If you want to meet new people, focus on connecting with others in more meaningful ways. This will ultimately lead to better possibilities for intimate, enduring, romantic relationships.

My biggest problem working as a Relationship Coach and Matchmaker is with clients who don’t have social skills and are not ready to acquire any. They make all the excuses why they may not be able to attend this function or the other telling you how busy they are on the job, and how they have to meet up with their targets. Well my advice for such single people is to either get married to their jobs or forget about finding someone they will live happily ever after with. These people are not being real and have lied to themselves enough. These people either complain that they are not meeting any prospects for relationship or that they don’t like the kind of people they are meeting. My frustration with them is they want something new, but keep on doing the same old things they have been doing. How can something new come your way, when you are not ready to try something new? My general advice is for people to work on themselves first. While this may be a bit of a stereotype, it does seem to fit. When individuals are living an authentic life, doing the things that genuinely make them happy, are socially functional, have solid relationships with other friends and family, and have dependable job prospects, they are much more likely to attract a mate with similar qualities. My singles dating advice involves living authentically.

What is the difference between meeting people at a Nightclub versus doing an activity you both enjoy? Research has shown that the atmosphere of a dance or nightclub activates human physiology and brain activity in such a way as to encourage us to connect with people who might not otherwise be as attractive to us or as appropriate for us to pursue. In loud nightclubs, with music blaring, lights flashing, not to mention alcohol flowing, our physiology can literally lead us to make very poor decisions about the people we meet. This is definitely not the best way to meet new people.

Conversely, when we meet people while we’re both engaged in something that we enjoy doing, we are much more likely to make better decisions. We already know something about the other individual: he/she enjoys doing an activity that we enjoy. We start off on a common ground and this is typically an essential part of enduring relationship potential. The best way to meet new people is to get involved in activities we enjoy, whether we’re singles dating or simply looking for new friends. In times past when people come to me, they ask to just meet someone because they are just too busy to get involved with activities or events. At those times I have obliged many in Blind Dating, and I still do sometimes, but I have become a bit skeptical about this over the years, because most of the feedbacks I have in such cases have not been encouraging at all. Yes, these are adults I am dealing with, but I realized that being an adult does not make you skilled in relational/relationship matters. I have a male client who had complained about how his blind date came to the agreed venue all sweaty and late for the appointment and how she quickly gulped down a big pack of juicy drink that could have been taken within an hour in just about 7minutes, and right there he formed his opinion that he didn’t want to see her again. I also remember a male client of mine who would not pay for my female client’s order in an eatery just because he said she had a bit of defect on her leg, and thought he would be wasting his money and time spending on such a person, and believe me, if you see this lady in question, you will discover that no lady in my male client’s ancestry is as beautiful as she is, and neither do I in my own little opinion think any girl born into his family will ever be as beautiful as her still, but the imbecile said my female client had a defect on her leg. He is married today though, because he took to my advice to go and marry a village girl from his village. I have also had problems with adults, males and females judging people by their complexion, physical attributes, etc and not by the contents of individual character which is one of the ways to marry wrongly. Most of the time, I have learnt that that friend you are looking for to take to the altar after a while is not usually packaged the way you expect him or her to be. You may think he may come tall, but he just might be packaged short. You may think she will definitely be fair in complexion, but she just might be a black beauty. You may think he is going to be a Banker, only for you to discover that you have missed him all this while because he runs a Laundromat.

After facing all these challenges in blind dating, I discovered that getting people together for activities, hang-outs, events, trips might just help out a lot, and guess what, it is. I am proud to be running one of the most interesting Singles Network around today that gives Single people the opportunity to meet themselves in creative ways that destroys stereotyping and encourages openness. I have had men who have always thought she must be slim end up with someone who is full bodied, just because they had a chance to meet her from all angles, like discussions, playing card games, dancing, understanding peoples career better etc and that usually sets them free, than getting the fair in complexion girl you have always wanted and then trying to change her to fit in to every other thing you will want her to be which is just the beginning of misery for you for the rest of your life. So he gets the black girl and realizes that every other thing just seems to fit. Bravo!

When I host Speed Dating Events, I never move into the event proper immediately, but always want to break the crowd that I consider still strangers to themselves, and believe me it’s always a sight to enjoy when you see people engage themselves in an activity that helps you to assess so much in an individual even before you engage him or her in a private dating session. I see people letting down their guards, saying in their minds and heads hhmm, just maybe you know, and can’t wait to speed date with him or her. But I guess the most important lesson here is to note that you don’t usually meet people by sitting in your Bed-Room. You are going to need to come out, and I am available not only to help you come out, but to also bring you out of yourself. Just as I am encouraging Singles that are searching to GET MARRIED, I am also encouraging Married Couples to STAY MARRIED. Please don’t consult with me if you don’t have a job, you have no business with marriage if you don’t have a job or gainfully employed. So if you are without a job, get one first, and then we can talk about getting married later.


Disclaimer

Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.