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How do you care for your relationship?

By Folake Aina

Today, I really need to give all women a wake up call. Everyone is so busy doing everything, that they just do not have time for the most important things. Women work so hard these days, they do not care about their relationships and their marriages. What could be so important that a woman would get to her house everyday at 10pm or 11pm. 

What that means is that your children and your husband have to relate and deal with everyone but you all day long. I really do not know if you know the implication of this. Do you realize that people get close to those they spend the most time with. That is why this days there is a very high rate of affairs in the workplace. A man or a woman spend all that time at work, it is so easy to get intimate with someone at work, and guess what? It just makes closing late very desirable for whoever is involved.

Let us just allow ourselves a moment to get real and be human for a change. Because most of us pretend that  they are saints and cant be caught dead in certain situations. Listen if you are not the friend in the life of your spouse or partner, someone else will take that place. Everyone needs a friend and confidant. For most people who find themselves in relationships with their staff or secretary, believe me, not too many people went out looking for it.

They just spent too much time together, sharing plans and secrets, confiding in each other when of course the person who is supposed to take up that role is not available, and one day it happened. They touch, then they flirt, and then a kiss, and Bam!!! It just happens.

They think they are in love. Then they find themselves alone together, and before you know it, they are in bed together. There is an outburst of passion they both didn’t know they could release, and that is it! They just cant stay away from each other, and the cheating begins. Isnt it amazing how everyone has a vacuum that someone must always fill. If the person who should is not filling it, someone else would.

Every thing that must succeed takes hard work.   No good thing comes easy. If you must succeed in your relationship or  marriage, you must work hard at it. Invest quality time in to it. For some people, they find it easy to spend time together when they are courting, but once they get married, they just begin to take each other for granted. Oh No !!! you just cannot do that if you want your marriage to succeed. You must work to make it succeed.

On e thing I want you to know about relationships is that there can be no stagnancy is a relationship. It must be growing or dying. So if your relationship is not developing it begins to wither. It is up to you.

Now once you notice that things are not right, you need to halt, and take time out to put things in order, or you would wake up one day, and your partner is so far gone, you really do not know him anymore.  You would have grown so far apart, that you become like total strangers. That is a place that you do not want to get to. It is so hard to get things back on track when it falls to that level.

The truth is that it is better not to get married at all than to be responsible for a failed marriage. Most of the time, your marriage affects every other thing in your life. Marriage is so spiritual and so deep that most of the time, failure in marriage leads to failure in almost all aspects and areas of life. It is really worth working on.

Do you know that some men find themselves intimate with the housemaids, just because the madame is not home. The husband is home all day with the children and the maid. When you leave your home till 10pm, you expose your husband to no one but the housemaid to deal with.

It is you that gave them that name housemaid o, they are body soul and spirit just like you, and guess what, some maids have greater bodies, and greater minds than the madame, and you allow the oga to discover this because madame is not there at all. So everything he needs, he has to get from the maid, so maid and oga start talking, and oga discovers that she is really very intelligent, but just didn’t have enough money to further her education,  and so he thinks why not help her out, and she is so tripped by oga, and before  you know what is happening…… OH I see many women cringing. “Any man who could stoop so low to have a go at the househelp is sick” I agree with you.

But think about it this way. If you didn’t get the opportunity you had to go to school, you could just have been the maid. Right or wrong? Why expose your husband to friendship with the maid when all you need do is be there for him.

Same thing could happen to the secretary at work. Be wise. Take your marriage seriously.


Disclaimer

Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.