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Warri: The Vanguard Emperor Is Under Fire…

By Emma Okocha

[….at the Vanguard War Room at the Kirikiri base of the Vanguard Regimental Command….Enter Admiral KKK Omoregie, Major General One Leg Atamuna, VRC Adjutant, Major Olabisi Olakankinta, Major 419 Oboh Utueke,and for the first time since he abandoned the VRC to join forces with the MENDO Atlantic Revolutionary Suicide Squad, the good old RSM Okon Bassey is back on parade] .

Major Olabisi Olakankita: Sir, the Sitrep from Warri is the worst Situation Report, this regiment has ever received since our formation. Warri, the throne city of the Itsekiri, ancient Kingdom on the Atlantic, the first Royalty to exchange ambassadorial compliments with the Royal House of Portugal as far back as in the 17 century, is under fire and the bomb again.

Officers and men of the VRC, our own Emperor, the Publisher, the Grand Commander in Chief, of the Vanguard media empire, the social crusader, the leading voice of the resource control revolution, the peacemaker has been dismantled from his podium.

Admiral KKK Omoregie: The MENDO brigade without provocation has fired the first shot and disgraced the Emperor. As the militant wing of the Vanguard Empire, you are all ordered into the war room, to plan and respond to that aggression. RSM Okon Bassey, all the retired, on Awool, and serving members of the VRC are being mobilized. We must return fire with earthquake fire!!

RSM Okon Bassey: Sir, Army don spoil! but if you ask me I shall advise you, Surulere…..Take it easy Sir. You know I wear two caps in this matter. By my father’s name I’m from Niger Delta. That is why I went on Awool and joined the MENDO when the cheating from Abuja, became too much to bear.

From my services to the Kirikiri Vanguard regiment, I will not fail to respond to your summons if the great Emperor is embarrassed. But we cannot fight ourselves. AASWERE sir ..we must not turn the fire against our own.

Major 419 Oboh Utueke: If you were in Warri at the moment of the bomb attack, you would not contain the spectacle. All those yellow livered Excellencies, alibaba Ministers and Special thieving advisers, were crying like babies when that roof was blown up. While others were crying Jesus, Jesus, Mama Mama, one was shouting; My Dollars, my Dollars!! ADC remember my 419999914 account in Switzerland, ADC tell my wife …!!

Col Naira Abubakar: what about this case of two caps. What’s that? Before Obasanjo it was Shagari conical shaped, Fulani cap. When Obasanjo took over, all his alibaba Ministers, overnight millionaire, errand boy consultants, and party sycophants made it a fashion to wear the Akintola cap.

The Shagari cap returned during the sick days of Umoru and now I see all types of caps. The Texan bowler caps , you people call Resource Control. Admiral, can you or anybody find out from all of them resident in Aso Rock why they can not for once bare their head.Why can we the citizens, ever see our our heads state in their true image, without their heads covered?

Major 419 Oboh Utueke: Whether you are a General or Field Marshal in MENDO or the Nigerian Army listen to the good old Biafran who has seen it all. We cannot from a single provocation declare war against a popular revolution.

Remember that the GOC alive or in coma, counseled against total war against this Brigade. And we here,  out of Diplomacy forget the casefiles against General Canon Beer Tariki, General Black Loaf. Chineke! these are names of human beings.Field Marshal Government Hitler, Voter Fine Face.
General Nkilika Genocide.  Rear Admiral Vagina Broken Brandy. Major Atila Blood Mary. Phew!

Gernaral One leg Atamuna [ In Black Camouflage in salute of the victims of the Jos mayhem]  Great officers and men of the VRC , I salute you all. I have heard your contributions and live your pain and frustrations as our country continues to slide into the precipice. Three weeks ago, the whole world was shocked by some revolting images in the internet.

When the Senate confirmed that such sadism as depicted did indeed happen , some coxcombs, without exhibiting any feelings or pouring out tears for the victims  rather were more concerned, that the confirmed incidence did not happen yesterday.

Then it happened yesterday, and children and their mothers were ambushed and slaughtered in their churches. And now Wafa is taking a pounding and everybody is on the run. One General Shaleh said, he was deceived by civilians who gave him wrong signals. A General in a battle front that depends on civil intelligence should be courtmarshaled especially when his incompetence caused so much blood.

The good old Biafran General was lured into a just war and ended up losing it.  Good Generals give the orders to go to war when every peace move has been defeated or, when the order must lead to victory. Major General Atamuna, the Prince of Igalaland is not a debris general, for nobody or nation ever recovers from the debris of a lost war.

The VRC will join the Emperor to continue the backbreaking efforts to reach a resolution on the Delta.

I order the VRC regiment to retreat and await further orders. The Revolution cannot eat up his children!
Admiral, Adjutant, the war room is dismissed.


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