Itâ€™s inevitable that, no mater how passionate your relationship is, you have to cope with the dreaded infidelity. But have you noticed that infidelity has become a sort of â€˜so-whatâ€™ as far as lovers are concerned?
Yet we all have ways of coping with infidelity – some see it as a nuisance they have to tolerate until it goes away, if ever. Others see it as the height of betrayal that might take them forever to forgive, but never to forget. â€œMy wife is a very passionate womanâ€, Oye, a 49-year old mechanical engineer told me sadly when discussing his wifeâ€™s infidelity.
â€œWhat kept on playing through my mind was how she could be the same passionate way with another man. I mean, why would she want another man in the first place? We had everything going for us, the kids were doing well and she had a respectable job. Why jeopardize all that by opting for an affair?â€ Passionâ€™?
Oye sneered when I mentioned the word. What passion would a middle-age woman be looking for? But Gladys his wife had a different story to tell. â€œHe seldom listened to what I said in the few years preceeding the affair,â€ she confessed? â€œWhenever I discussed anything with him, he scarcely listened.
And then he became a member of a couple of elite clubs and started club-hopping. Most nights, he would go to the club after work, then come home drunk. Whenever I complained, he was always ready for a verbal war. Accusations would fly left, right and centre. I reminded him a few times that we hadnâ€™t made love for months. Whenever I tried, he always shrugged me off.
â€œWhen one of my do-gooder friends warned I shouldÂ wean him off his girlfriend, I saw red. He was always bringing her to the club she alleged and they were often lovey-dovey in public glare. The day I dropped in casually at the clubâ€™s bar and found the two of them almost eating each other up, I felt really deflated. Oye looked defiant and the silly girl just looked at her hands as if there were some interesting messages written on them. I felt really sick. I just turned on my heel and left. Oye yelled after me, but I got into the car and asked the driver to take off.
â€œHe had some funny stories to tell when he came home but something kind of died in me that night. I was in the office when Lani, an old friend dropped by shortly after this incident. I just wanted a male opinion, so I told him what had just happened to me.
That I knew Oye had had the odd affair, but to make this last one a sort of banquet was humiliating. He was furious at him and when he asked me to come with him for lunch, I agreed. We sent for lunch in his office with a bottle of wine he had in the fridge. We were nicely tipsy as we polished off the wine on his office sofa.
When he tried to kiss me, which heâ€™s done often, I didnâ€™t push him off. In fact I desperately wanted him to kiss me. This would be the perfect revenge for me. The kissing turned more passionate and he gently turned the key in the lock. Then we made love there inÂ the sofa. It was frantic and steamy. First my husband had stopped making love to me. Then heâ€™dÂ cheated. Now Iâ€™d cheated on him too, Game, set and match.â€™
â€œWe had sex a few times more but I still cherished my marriage and told Lani we should put an end to it. He was afterall a respectable married man. He told me anytime I needed comforting, he would always be there for me. To this day, I donâ€™t know what madness possessed Oye to scroll through my text messages – thatâ€™s how he found out about Lani. He sent him a nasty text and looked as if he wanted to beat me up. Of course I lied through the teeth that we didnâ€™t sleep together – just had lunch. But he didnâ€™t believe me. Yet I would never have gotten over the humiliation of his cheating if I hadnâ€™t evened the score…â€
It wasnâ€™t long after this coupleâ€™s story that I ran into Ranti at another friendâ€™s party. Sherifat, the friend had always complained she had this gut feeling that her husband was sleeping with Ranti. â€œSheâ€™s told me of all the small contracts he help her corner in the oil company he works forâ€, fumed Sherifat. â€œShe brings gifts to the house too to say thank you and domestics have snitched she sometimes comes to the house whenever I travel…â€.
So what was Ranti doing at her party? Come to think of it, why are they seeming good friends all of a sudden? â€œBecause Iâ€™m now sleeping with her husbandâ€, Sherifat said smugly. â€œYou know Iâ€™ve started this corporate gifts business and Rantiâ€™s husband has been a big help in the success of my business. So, from time to time, I go to their house to say thank you just as she comes to mine to thank my husband. Iâ€™ve made love on their matrimonial bed too -just as she must have doneÂ on mine. Scores even!
â€œIâ€™m sure my husband has his suspicion – afterall it is the same relationship I have with Rantiâ€™s husband that she has with mine. Short ofÂ catching me red-handed – which would never happen, we all have to relax and play at being very good family friends!”