A day with the braggart

By Ebele Orakpo

People were sweating profusely with some growing restless in this Agege-bound bus this hot and humid Lagos evening. Traffic was moving at a snail speed with various vehicles emitting dangerous smoke and horns hooting, all these intensifying the heat and the discomfort of road users.

Due to this discomfort, a young man had to stand up to ease the pressure on his feet as the seat was a bit tight for him.

As he got up, he pulled off his shirt and was left with his singlet. He sat on top of the back rest of the chair in such a way that his buttocks were almost resting on the head of an elderly lady sitting directly behind him. The lady asked him to sit properly and this led to an altercation between the two as the young man refused to budge.

The woman tried to push him, whereupon the young man brought out his cell phone and started punching in some numbers, obviously to call somebody, all the while, threatening to deal with the old woman and to beat her up if she so much as touched him again. At this point, some of the passengers could no longer contain their disgust and they vented their spleen on the young man.

A passenger, Ade by name, was so angered by the whole thing that he blurted: “What is the matter with you? Don’t you have a little respect? If this woman were your mother, would you have the guts to be insulting her like that?”

“I wonder O. Does he even have a mother? Because if he has, he would have known how to respect her. He has no home training,” noted James.

To this, the young man replied: “Just mind your business. Have I insulted her? Yes, I don’t have home training. Na you get home training. Are you all blind? Can’t you see that the seat is too tight?”

He turned to Ade: “Let us just get to Agege. I will deal with you. I will make sure I lock you up this night”.

This statement seemed to have fuelled the fire instead of dousing it, as another passenger, Steve said:

“Shakara. You are just bragging. What will you tell the Police? That the woman on whose head you wanted to sit on refused? You want to tell us you know people in the Police? Who cares? You are a big fool if you don’t know. You’ll lock up everybody tonight”.

A woman by name, Abike, tried to broker peace. She appealed to the young man thus: “Brother, sorry. It’s okay. No need to make trouble. Don’t give the devil a chance. Just apologise to the woman. She is old enough to be your mother”.

The woman said: “Imagine. He wants me to allow him fart in my mouth with his dirty underwears”.
“Don’t mind all these Igbos, they don’t have respect at all,” stated Ade. This sparked another round of arguments.

“It’s not true. I’ve lived with some of them and they are a respectful lot,” said Afusat.

“Yeah, it’s always the Igbos who lack respect. What do you think? That you Yorubas are the only ones with culture and tradition? Other tribes are wild animals, is that it? Please, wake up and face reality. Lack of respect is not an Igbo thing. It cuts across every tribe,” stated Obi.

As if speaking in support of Obi, the young man said: “Don’t mind the foolish man. That’s how they judge and condemn people. For your information, I’m a full blooded Yoruba man from Oyo State.” As if to prove his point, he started speaking in the Oyo dialect to the amazement of all.

Abike began to beg him to calm down when he was still threatening to lock up Ade and the woman.

The woman said: “If you like, call Dodan Barracks, call Aso Rock, call Alausa. In fact, call whosoever you want to call, I’m ready for you.”

Finally, calm returned to the bus as it got to Agege and people alighted.