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When your ex-husband replaces you with a money bag!

By Candida
THE decent thing to do when you realize your marriage isn’t working in spite of all your efforts to make a go of things, is pack in such a relationship. That’s exactly what Aminat did three years ago when she confessed she no longer felt anything passionate with her husband. And the feeling was mutual.

So they both decided on a clean break with Aminat taking sole custody of the only child of the marriage Bimpe, aged nine.

“Seeing Niyi my ex was always so hard,” sighed Aminat. “It wasn’t that I still loved him – Ihonestly didn’t. The break-up had been right for both of us. The sad bit was that while Niyihad moved on, I was stuck with being a single mother.

My friend never failed to tell me ofNiyi’s escapades with his newfound-land – a fashion designer with an impressive factory.My job as a civil servant scarcely compared with the, glamorous life Mide, Niyi’s mistress lives.

And she’s for ever flaunting her wealth – buying fancy clothes for him and taking him on romantic weekends to neighbouring countries.  And I don’t blame her – Niyi is a stud and knows how to make a woman come alive in the bedroom.

“A few months after they met, Niyi breezed in to give our daughter the peanuts he gives her as pocket money. But he was dressed to kill, wafting a very expensive aftershave. Looking sheepish, he confessed that it was all thanks to Mide – the girl friend.

I’d never really met her, but had spotted her twice at the wheel of her fancy jeep with Niyi in tow. All I saw of her were her expensive weave on, heavy make-up — yet I was sure it wasn’t her looks that kept my ex-hooked.

It was her money, Niyi is a civil servant too and as hard up as I was. What he gives our daughter is all he can afford and although he and Mide aren’t living together, he still manages to live the high life. All thanks to her – the fancy meals, and drop -everything weekends away, are all funded by her.

Whenever he takes our daughter out, she always comes back with expensive presents and how nice auntie Mide is.  I often bristled with resentment. It’s been ages since I’d been able to buy her a toy or good clothes. Unlike Niyi, I had nothing glamorous or exciting to look forward to – all I had were bill as I juggled to make ends meet on my salary. And life just kept rubbing it in.

Over the next months, Niyi took up golf because Mide was an avid player. She bought him a set of clubs and fancy sports pants to go with it.

To  crown it all, he told me he wouldn’t be able to see us for a few weeks as he was going abroad with Mide! When he left, I sat down and cried. How could life be this unfair?  I had another good moan when I got to the office and my good friend and colleague, urged me to come with her to yet another party.

She’d often asked and I’d refused in spite of the fact that she said I could leave my daughter with her two. This time though, I didn’t say no. What did I have to lose?

“When she saw what I had on for the party, she shook her head disapprovingly, lent me a better gear from her wardrobe and even did  my make-up. I hadn’t had so much fun in years -the party was lavish and full of interesting people.

That was how I met Jide. A friend of my colleague, he’d come to the party without his wife and was quite keen to see me again. Within weeks, he’d taken over my social life – taking me to interesting places and showering me with gifts and money.

For the first time in months, I could treat my daughter to outings and toys. Jide even encouraged me to open a savings account for her. He then gave my two – bedroom flat a face lift and bought us decent furniture.

“Niyi was happy for us at first – afterall, he too was living on the laps of his lover’s luxury – a sort o gigolo. Then he started being funny. Was Jide sleeping over?  He wouldn’t want our daughter to be exposed to a man coming to the flat and going to my bedroom that frequently.

I just ignored him. He still lived alone, what stopped him from having the girl with her? And why didn’t he move in with her fancy woman? He said it was none of my business.

“Jide is ten years older with a wife and three children. He didn’t want any more children but wouldn’t mind my having one to give my daughter a brother or sister. I’m still thinking about that.  Last month, when Niyi came to take our daughter out, Jide was in the flat, doing justice to hot pounded yam with all the works.  Niyi looked really uneasily and barely acknowledged Jide’s greetings.

When she left with a cherry ‘goodbye uncle”, Jide gave her some money to take with her. In his way, he was trying to humiliate Niyi and I was having none of that. I told him it was Niyi’s treat and the poor girl wouldn’t need the money he was urging her to take

“When Niyi brought our daughter back, he said he would prefer she stayed with him any time I had a ‘date’. I told him he shouldn’t worry – that my colleague was always happy to take her. He’s no longer as cocky as he used to be he shows off Mide’s gifts; his payments for services rendered. But thanks to him, I could have a relationship with a clear conscience and enjoy the type of luxury he now takes for granted just for doing what he’s often done – sleep with a partner!

If he can’t take it, he should lump it. I’m now a free agent and what is sauce for the goose is definitely sauce for the gander. ….”


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