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Remember you are not the owner of your life

By Folake Aina

One thing I have personally learnt is that life itself is a gift to all of us. No one is here by his/her own power, no-one has absolute control over life.

Infact, we really do not have any control over life as it were.  I agree  that there are some seeds you can sow in life and expect a certain harvest, but the absolute control of life… no-one has it. For instance, that anyone would sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow is totally out of anyone’s control, and being alive or staying alive is major when we are dealing with life’s issues.

Having made that point, isn’t it amazing how we human beings act like we are in control. Infact, most human beings believe that they can play God. It is so easy to get carried away, but we must always /constantly remind ourselves who we really are.

For starters none of us came here (to this world) with anything and by the Grace of God whenever we do leave, we take nothing with us. That, no matter your thinking, no matter who you are, is a reality. If we all gave this a thought and at all times do things with the realization that we are not totally in control of anything, we would all be better people and we would have a better world.

We all know that every step we take is  backed by grace. That you take one step, and you are able to take another one…

If you know what I mean. Just round the corner, someone else tried to take that same next step but couldn’t. The same step that led one into promotion just might be the same to take another to the grave. If we do reflect on these facts, there would be less pride, bragging and arrogance all around us.

Now!!! Too many women are asking me  questions and these questions are related. Funny enough, majority of these women are married. Many want to know if their husbands should know how much they own or how much they earn.

They claim that if the man knows how much they have, he would ensure that she also takes on liabilities in the home, or some men would not do for them as much as he should just because he knows they have money . Some women say that  most men are intimidated when they find out that the woman has more money than they do. I have seen women hide their bank accounts from their husbands.

I have seen women go as far as building houses without the knowledge of their husbands. So you become the devil himself. You begin to manipulate, and lie and cheat. All for what. Nothing is worth falling that much under for.

What can I say. I believe everyone has their opinions formed. But the truth is there is a way certain things are meant to be. I am not saying that the right way always works, and I am not saying that there are no people out there who are doing the wrong things and everything seems  to be working for them. What I but I am saying is that if we do have understanding, we would risk doing things the way it should be.

You might not agree with me, but no matter how you look at it the truth will always be the truth. Somehow, we all have an idea of what is right, but we try to play it smart. Listen to me, you need to have a deep understanding of what marriage is for starters to understand these things, and also you need to understand what money is.

Money is just a means to an end not the end itself. So it is alright if the man makes all the money and gives it all to you, but when the chips turn it is not ok. What kind of a woman knows that she can bail her husband out and help the family out at a particular time, but refuses to do so. I just wonder. Marriage is a partnership.

We agree that the man is the head. But there are phases in life. There is a way you can support your man that will give him a break and enough peace to go on to the next level. Many have fallen badly because they had no support. Listen!!!

Money spent is gone. Thank God you had it to spend. You can always make more.  For all you know, it came for the sole purpose of support for your family.

I do agree that there are that there are many selfish men who have no understanding. Everyone needs to be trained and taught to do things right.

If you are married to a man that does not understand, teach him these facts about life. If you the woman have the understanding and the right attitude, there is no need for him to develop a complex, he should just thank God for his help meet, and strive to make it and take over his role .

I really would not say more on this. The choice is yours. The Truth? With a good woman, most of the times, God eventually blesses the man.. big time, and he never forgets that woman.


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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.