By Yetunde Arebi
Hi, Remember thatÂ song â€œTonight is the nightâ€Â by Betty Wright? Itâ€™s one of those blissful oldies that takes one tumbling down memory lane, no matter how much we may want to pretend.
It talks about those secret three letter words that we all love secretly but try hard to deny openly. The lyrics of the song is actually about the first time a young lady did the â€œthingâ€ with her lover. It talks about the anxiety, the pain and pleasures of the act.
But instructively the song opens with a call for listeners to accompany the singer on the journey, though individually.
Have you ever tried to think back, capture the first time you had sex? What was it like? For different people, it is different strokes.
That is why we tried to capture the experiences of readers in this article. Together with Onozure Dania, we asked respondents the following questions: When did you first have sex? Why did you do it? With whom and are you still with the person? What was your experience like, was it as you imagined? Given a second chance will you do the same thing?
We continue today with what our respondents have to share with us on the issue. You too may be a part of this wonderful journey down memory lane. Write to us and capture those moments with us, bearing these questions in mind.
Our address remains: The Human Angle, Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. Or e-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org We are expecting to read from you. Cheers!
For Gabriel, (28), Accountant gaduate, its not something he wants to relive:
Anyway, this girl in my areaurage to remove all my clothes. Even now, the whole thing is still blurred in my mind. I did not enjoy it at all. Even as we were doing it, I kept removing my â€œthingâ€ to clean. It was that bad. At the back of my mind was the fact that she could become pregnant, also, that I could contract some form of infection.
because we were not using any protection.
By the time we finished, it wasobvious to me that she was nota little, innocent girl at all.
She mut have been doing the â€œtingâ€ for some time. After that, I managed to keep my distance from her. To my surprise, she also did not bother with me.
However, in my first year in the University, I met and think I fell in love with a curse mate. We started dating and eventually we had sex. To my surprise again, this girl also was not knew in the game as she was the one who sort of took me through the process.
I must confess that again, though this time I liked it, I felt funny right after we finished. I thought that I had done something really bad. Bu after discussing it with my friends, they hailed me and told me it was a normal feeling. That I had to continue doing it and also put my heart into it if I want to enjoy it. That if I donâ€™t do it to the girl very well, she will go and tell her friends that I am not man enough.
That I will begin to like it with practice. So, I must go to her whenever I felt the urge to have sex. So, for a couple of months, I found myself going to her, more out of fear that I will be ridiculed than any other reason.
However, I went to Church one Sunday and it was as if the preaching was directed at me. So, when they made the alter call, I found myself joining those who wanted to give their lives to God and came forward.Â That was how I confessed my sins because we had done it about three times then.
I became born-again and left that life. I am happy I did because when we were dating, I got myself involved in a lot of activities in the Campus just to protect our relationship. God knows what might have happened to me or my education if I had not given my life to Christ, because this girl later got involved with some funny guys on Campus.
So, on the question, if I want to relive the experience again? I will say no. Sex is not for unmarried people.
For Shola, (27), Lab Technician, every time is a first time:
I had my first sex when I was 23. I didnâ€™t feel bad about having sex, I enjoyed every bit of it. It was fun for me. It was like a sense of accomplishment, like, finally, I am there. I didnâ€™t get to know how to have sex from any where, itâ€™s something that just came and I had to do it.
I had never watched a phonography film like many of my friends do, at least not seriously. This is something most young boys do when they are together.
You want to see what adult girls like undressed. Many are obsessed about big boobs and shapely bums. Some go further to develop interest in watching couples do the thing, which is why they see those movies anyway.
After watching, many only discuss what they see and leave it at that, while some others go on to practice them.
I did it because I am in a steady relationship with my fiancÃ© and it felt like the most natural thing to do.
Since we know that we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together, we guessed there was absolutely no need denying ourselves the pleasures we could share.
We are faithful to each other and we will bee getting married soon. I have never had sex with any other person, though my fiancÃ© had. With her first boyfriend. No, I do not feel hurt or jealous, life is like that. Anyway, he is in her past and I am the present and the future.
These things depend on how much control we have over our minds and senses. So, given a second chance, I think I will still have sex with the same person. I am doing that, in fact. For me, every time is a first time.
Rimi, (30), Metrologist, loves doing it with his sister:
The first time I had sex was with my sister. I was 16 and she was 12. We were young then and I was in love with her. I am still and she loves me too since we still do it together once a while.
Now we know it is bad just because the society thinks it is. But personally, we donâ€™t see anything bad in it, after all, many men in the Bible and Quâ€™ran married their siblings and other blood relations. I treat her better than any of her boyfriends has ever treated her.
I buy her things and take care of her. I feel compelled to protect her and feel great pain in my heart when I see her hurt or she is troubled about anything.