By Folake Aina
We Nigerians are a different set of people. We just love flamboyance. It is amazing. Every one wants to look good. We all know it is alright to look good. Everyone wants to live and look like a Hollywood star.
There is no problem with that. But the question is, does everyone earn what a Hollywood star earns? Really when a person has to borrow money to look good, it becomes a problem. For us, looking good starts with the house we live in, the car we drive, the clubs we go to, the people we hang out with, the shoes we wear and the whole works. Think about it.
If a person has to borrow to fulfill those obligations as the case may be, then there is a problem. We are not talking about food or clothing to cover ones body here. We are talking of extreme vanity. Too many people are in debt and problems unnecessarily. We really all have to sit back. Reflect and change our mind set.
Listen to me!!! You are here to fulfill your destiny. It is not tied to any other persons destiny. You are not in competition with any one. Your focus must be on living well. Believe me, living well is possible. Living well is not supposed to be stressful if we all learn to “cut our coat according to the cloth we have” What I am saying essentially is that you live within your means.
We are all agreed that everyone can make a living. Come on now, even an artisan in Nigeria earns at east two thousand naira everyday , and labor is at least one thousand naira everyday. We have already established the fact that every one can work. There is something everyone can do to make money if you are not condescending. The problem we have is that everyone wants to start of big.
Your neighbor or friend is a ‘big boy’ or ‘big girl’ as the case may be, and you want to kill yourself. You do not even know the price he/she had to pay to get to where they are.
Many people really have enough to do what they need to do, but they think they must do it bigger so they can show off for all to see. Really!!! Who cares !
We all need to change our mindset. We all must realize that in this world, you are not in competition with anyone. It is so sad. Many people want to wear Ferragamo shoes, Rolex or Cartier watches, drive the latest BMW, live in Park view estate and Ikoyi. There is nothing wrong with all these things if you can really afford them.
You must use what you have to get what you really need. You need shoes, buy shoes. You need a wrist watch, there are so many functional wristwatches. If you can afford to pay your rent anywhere every month for the rest of your life without having to borrow any money from anyone, you are living good. You are on top.
Too many people need to buy a car. They know they have enough for a Pinto, but they must buy a Passat. What is wrong with us. That you can buy a Pinto and maintain it, is a lot of Grace. There is a way you step into a Pinto, that would even make the owner of a ferreri envious.
Be happy. It is all about contentment. This woman bought a beetle in those days, and when she was telling her mum, she said”I just bought a car, but its only a beetle o” Or this couple who just moved into their apartment, and the wife was telling her friend. “Finally, we found a place. But it’s just a one bedroom apartment” Who cares!!! The stress is all yours.
Everyone has their life to live. Live yours. With what you have, you can live well. It is a mindset. It is all about contentment.
What I am saying is not that you should be complacent. There is always a place for growth. You can only be where you are at any point in time. If point A is where you are now, be realistic. Yes, you are aspiring to get to point B, but what point A has to offer, receive it and enjoy it with thanksgiving. When you do get to point B, you can step up into what point B has it offer.
That point A that you are at now, and you do not appreciate is someone else’s aspiration. Be happy. Be content.
I visited this African country last weekend, and I think they are worth learning from. When things were bad for them, they left their country, and came over to Nigeria, and did every available odd job that was available at the time, and when things took a better turn for their country, they went back and they are enjoying it.
Now you see most of them with small functional cars that can take them from point A to B. Many live in small houses. I am not saying that they don’t have their own minuses, but they are happy people. I see them as people making the best of what they have.
They have discovered oil now, I know when oil money comes, they would adapt to the good life and start spending oil money. Contentment is key. Don’t kill yourself. It is your life. Live for yourself.
Mrs. Rose: This na serious matter! What our good sister wrote is applicable to everybody irrespective of the Gender. Though, this column is for women, but this wise advice is for whoever that had the opportunity to read this beautiful article.
Let me ask you, ‘cos you are married from your posting, how do you think you can’t fall into this category she is advising if your Husband happens to belong to those that goes borrowing to impress the world that he has arrived why wallowing in debt.
Please madam, don’t trade blames! Don’t be surprise if the majority of the readers that will turn a positive attitude from the lesson from this article will be the male folks, don’t be biased.
Thank you again Sister Folake Aina for this wonderful peace! I rest my case.
I am always amazed when women try to advice themselves and the menfolk make it look like they have nothing to do with the problem. Guys lets be honest, most of these girls go to these extents because of the guys. Be sincere, you guys are all looking for BEAUTIFUL girls to take home in YOUR FLASHY cars. These girls are just trying to keep pace with the standards you guys have created. Do the good girls a favour, look out for one and turn her life around
Our dearest good sister God bless you ,how i wish can marry somebody like you or having such message daily in mail, pride ,nonsense competition , arrogance the word “common ” and borrowed lifestyle has destroyed us because we care .In other countries nobody cares who or what you are ,corruption/looting,prostitution ,ritual ,robbering/stealing ,fake churches/pastors etc caused by above mentioned . No wonder Bible said “the meek/humble shall inherit the earth”
May God bless Nigeria/people of goodwill
Okey/South Africa
This is a very good and inspirational writeup.
To contribute, I would draw from the bible to say:
Godliness + Contentment = 2G (i.e Great Gain)!
Godliness or Contentment are both good and disireable, and each can stand alone, but each can only give you one G- Gain.
But to qualify your “Gain” to become 2G, add contentment to your godliness or vise versa.
Conversely, (No Godliness) + (No Contentment) = No Gain (A loser).
Please i wish every Nigerian most especially the women read this educative message .
GREED is the major reason our women lack self contentment and end up in condescending acts contrary to their values and spiritual beliefs.
The love for material things,cars,dress,shoes,handbags,just to look good for the next victim.
They have no patience and are all in a hurry to keep up with their fake and deceitful appearances and are always loose out in the end.
You have just nailed it on……….you couldn’t have done it any better. We Nigerians want to start at the very top without realising that you need to start somewhere and then move up gradually. This mentality has eaten deep into our way of life and is responsible for a lot of the wrongs going on in the country. Ambition should not be confused with greed and contentment together with ambition and hard work will always get you up there.
Nice write up!
Food for thought
Please tell them my good sister; also mention to them that anybody that leaves on borrowing is just deferring days of woes and disgrace!
Also, you hit the nail on the head in Nigerians’ greatest problem, not being contented. That is why our leaders will always loot, people can eat up their salaries they have not earned in the next 7 months all because they want to belong and fool themselves thinking they are deceiving the world that they have arrived.
Well, all you have said is the simple truth and any wise person will take your advice especially at this trying period in our economy.
Thanks my sister! a word is enough for the wise!!
Food for thought
Great article. God bless you abundantly!