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I caught them red-handed!

By Bunmi Sofola
Dear Bunmi,
Recently, I left some of the things I purchased for the house at work, but when I popped back to the office to get it, I found two married colleagues having it away on the office desk! I quickly picked what I came for and left. But things are no longer the same in the office and the atmosphere between us is awful. Do I need to make amends?
Ann,
By e-mail

Dear Ann,
There is nothing to make amends for. You didn’t ask your workmates to have sex on the desk and it’s not your fault you caught them. The bad atmosphere is almost certainly down to the fact that they feel guilty for what they did – and are scared stiff you might spill the beans.

If you want to clear the air, just reassure them that you’re not going to shop them to their spouses. But don’t apologise – you have done nothing to feel bad about.

This friend is the odd
one out

Dear Bunmi,
I’m with a group of friends and we eventually decided to form a social club. We meet once a month in each others’ homes for a drink and a chat.

We are all good dressers but one of us really needs decent clothes and modern head-ties. It would have been understandable if she couldn’t afford to dress better but she just couldn’t be bothered.

As a result, we often talk behind her back, as no one really wants her in the club;  she sticks out and none of us has the nerve to tell her. We’ve all known her for years and we wonder if there is a way to tell her nicely to find her level. We are planning our next anniversary and we don’t want her to be part of it. How do we tell her?
Eunice,
By e-mail

Dear Eunice,
I’m really glad I’m not a part of this charming and caring club of yours! Do you all carry sharp knives to stab yourselves in the back ? If one of your happy-go lucky club members is unhappy, is drunk or suddenly has a stroke, is she automatically shunned for letting the club down? This so-called badly dressed woman relies on the friendship of members of the club, so make her feel welcome and include her in your anniversary plans. If you feel she would be happier being better dressed, then invite her to accompany you next time you shop for clothes and head ties.

This poor woman may have the impression that who she is and the way she looks are no longer important, and it is up to you to help her to rediscover pride in her appearance. She will really lose her self esteem if she catches a whiff of your plot to oust her from the club.

Instead of causing her pain, you and your conceited friends should help her to boost her ego. If you can’t help one another in simple ways, maybe you should consider disbanding and finding nicer friends.

I want to do a strip tease for him

Dear Bunmi,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over six months now and I love him to bits. The sex is great and we’re quite adventurous. He now wants me to do a strip tease for him on his coming birthday. I’m all for it but I don’t want to look like a fool or get embarrassed.

Would you have any hints for a would-be strip tease like me?
Hannah,
By e-mail

Dear Hannah,
Why don’t you start by choosing your sexiest underwear? Top this with slip on high heels so you can walk tall but can kick them off easily. Practice before hand with your bra; one strap at a time, but keeping your breast covered until the last moment. Then use both hands to slide your knickers down and elegantly step out of them.

Finally, strut your stuff, acting proud, keeping eye contact with your man all the time. I assure you he’ll end up wanting you so badly you might not get to the end of your strip!


Disclaimer

Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.