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Has my vibrator turned me off men?

Dear Bunmi,
I’m single, in my middle twenties and hadn’t had sex for months until recently. But I have a very versatile vibrator I use regularly. I recently met a guy at a wedding and we started dating. When it comes to sex, however, I just couldn’t climax-even when he stimulated me by hand. I really fancy this man and I’m worried that using a vibrator for so long has stopped me having normal orgasm.
Eucharia

Dear Eucharia,
It’s been discovered that some women get desensitizes when they use a vibrator regularly. Battery- operated toys provide more direct and intense stimulation, and spark fast, intense orgasm. But they can’t beat the full range of physical and emotional sensations that come from sex with a loving partner.

But your problem could be down to nerves and having too much to drink. When next you’re with your boyfriend, try to relax and stop worrying – your natural feelings would be kick – started.

What causes nervous breakdown?

Dear Bunmi,
My wife of 17 years had a nervous breakdown when she lost her job – I guess she was concerned by the loss of income and her inability to get new employment. With her redundancy money, she went into the catering business with a close friend but that too hit the rocks.

She started behaving in a bizarre way and was diagnosed with personality disorder. She’s responding to treatment but her behaviour scares me. Why do people have mental breakdown?
Azu,
By E-mail

Dear Azu,
I’m sorry to learn about your wife. As the doctor must have assured you, personality disorder is treatable illness. This term, accordingly to medical definition, covers a range of attitudes and behaviour, including delusion of grandeur, paranoia or obsessive compulsive disorder.

It can be genetic, developed from childhood neglect trauma, occur in periods of stress, or appear for unknown reasons. Psychotherapy and drugs may help.

Another form of mental breakdown is manic depression, also called bipolar, it is a mood disorder. It causes mood swings from high to low. The cause is not known, but genes, body chemicals and lack of maternal affection in early life may be related factors.

Schizophrenia, a psychotic disorder,  is a mental breakdown where people may hear voices or have hallucinations and respond in disturbing ways. The cause is unknown, but may be due to stress or recreational drug use. Treatment is also drugs.

My son’s older lover disgusts me!

Dear Bunmi,
I’ve just found out from a neighbour who is also a friend that my 23 year old son is having sex with a woman in her 30s who lives down the road. I feel really let down. I am a single mother and I thought we had a trusting relationship and can’t understand why he’s doing this and keeping it a secret.

I’ve always told him and his younger sister that they shouldn’t hesitate to bring their problems to me no matter how personal. I didn’t even know he was seeing her let alone sleeping with her – they’d been at it for months now and I’m worried this woman will hurt him after she’s used him.
Nikky,
By e-mail.

Dear Nikky,
Do you honestly think your son should have asked for your permission to start a sexual relationship? He is a grown man and if he wants to have sex with his girlfriend, that’s his business. I’m sure you can still have a close relationship as long as you don’t start acting like a jealous, over possessive mother!

Perhaps he has deliberately not told you because he knows you so well and is sure you will disapprove. If I were you I would just let things take their natural course. He’s not getting married to her and I’m sure the woman is teaching your son some essential facts about life. If and when he’s eventually tossed on the rubbish heap as you feared, your motherly help would be needed.


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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.