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Will you marry an older person?

By Bridget Amaraegbu

Who should be older in a relationship- the man or the woman? What happens if the woman finds out that the man she wants to marry is younger? Will she go on with the wedding or simply walk away? Should the age difference be an obstacle to true love?

If she’s got what it takes, why not — Kris Amagiya, 2nd runner- up, Star Quest ‘08

I can marry any woman I’m in love with, especially if she’s got something that can make me salivate. You see, marriage is not all about age. I know you may be asking what love is all about. Love for me is something that develops gradually because I don’t believe in love at first sight. And whether it (love at first sight) exists is something I cannot explain. I know that there must be something about a woman that will attract me to her. Once I’m attracted to her, the next thing is to start nursing this feeling of love for her.
When all these things are done, I can’t refuse to marry her, simply because she’s older than me. If she loves me and is equally willing to marry me, then to God be the glory.

Another thing that can make a man change his heart towards anybody are character and carriage. Often, it’s possible for you to love somebody but can’t cope with the person’s character.
Certain qualities make a good wife, and today, what we see in the society is the reverse of that noble upbringing that makes up the virtues of a woman. Most society ladies have lost the basics of the home and a lot of them don’t care and don’t even think they should be corrected.

How can you cope with a person that can’t take corrections? Even the Bible says that any man who hates correction is stupid. So, there will be no point trying to put up with such persons. For the sake of love, you’ll try the best you can but you may be forced to move on if he or she is not willing to make a change.

•Kris Amagiya
•Kris Amagiya

As far as I’m concerned, age is nothing but a number. What is important is that I find that attraction and both of us are in love.
What I can see as a challenge is if the woman has passed the age of child bearing. That I may be not be able to stand because I want to have my own biological children. I don’t believe in adoption. Even if I have to do any form of child adoption, it shouldn’t be on the basis of not being able to have my own children but on the ground that I want to assist those motherless children.
As a matter of fact, I want to encourage all those who have the resources to please create a means of helping these children.

Gone are those days when Abraham and Sarah, according to the Bible, gave birth at a very old age. We are now in a jet age where we are expected to work out things ourselves. So, whatever you choose is what you’ll live with.
If you go marry woman wey you see with your own eyes say she don pass child bearing age, that’s your own headache.
I don’t want to start hoping on extraordinary miracles that may never come. I’m saying this because I know that some people will begin to think that after all, God did it in the past, so he’ll do it again. It’s true that God can do all things but you have been given the opportunity to choose what is good for you. So, if I must marry her, she must be of child bearing age. The issue of just whether she’s my senior or junior is not the issue.
I want to use this opportunity to advise my fellow young men and women not to count so much on age because age is not maturity.

Maturity comes with the way you think. If you are 20 years but reason like a 30 year- old, then you can function like that person who is 30 years of age. So, all of you out there should start thinking like a matured person. And to the young guys, don’t be scared of approaching any woman that you find attractive, no matter her age.

Age is not maturity— Toyin Aimakhu, Actress

My dear, age does not determine maturity. If the man in question is younger than myself but matured, I don’t think I’ll have a problem marrying him. For every relationship, what matters is love and understanding.
If I love him and he loves me in return, nothing will stop me from going ahead to marry him, if he’s willing to marry me. Age does not really determine a happy home.

I’ll marry her only if she’s rich — Dele Adebayo, Civil Servant

The only thing that will make me marry a woman that’s older than myself be say the woman go don hammer or her family is wealthy, that’s all. If not, why should I marry an old woman when there are 1001 younger women calling for my attention?

There is nothing wrong with whether the lady is older than myself or not. But in my own case, I’m going to attach that condition to it.
It’s not like I’m not going to love her. No, I’ll surely love her before I can marry her, and whatever attributes in her that brought us together will continue to keep us, not just her money.
I also know that wealth can vanish. So, that will not be my first attraction. But for me to start thinking of getting married to her when I know that she’s my senior, I must be sure that she’s made.

Marry her, I’d have sold my birthright,— Bassey Ubong, Civil Servant

It’s not a bad idea at all but I’ll not do it because I can’t stand my elder sister as my wife. Do you remember that my wife is supposed be like a sister and friend to me? Look, I know how to treat my younger ones, so I’ll prefer a younger woman whom I can pamper.

Another factor is the African societal thing. You’ll agree with me that the average black man believes that the man should be superior to his wife. In that sense, living with an older woman will mean that I’ve sold my right as head of the family to her. The African society frowns at things like that and I don’t want to be seen as someone who’s taking advantage of anybody. Some people will even say that there’s an ulterior motive behind the relationship.

There’ll be no peace in the home if — Chidinma Okafor

No, I don’t buy the idea at all. First, our society frowns at such things and I’m not white. I still belong to the same African society. So, I’m not an exception. Besides that, the home is safer when the man is sure that he’s superior to the woman, especially when it comes to this age thing.

You should understand that African men always feel inferior over little things. For example, if you’re taller than your husband, it will create some kind of inferiority in him. Likewise, when he knows that you’re richer than he is. The home will know more peace if he knows that I’m his younger sister than when he’s sure that I’m his elder sister.

Marry a younger man? No way!  — Flaky Ididowo, Actress

Ah! Marry a man who’s younger than myself? No way. I’ll prefer to marry an older man who’s more matured than myself. After all, what do I have in this my small head that I’m going to teach a younger husband?
Believe it or not, maturity goes a long way to keeping intact a relationship. I know it’s possible for a 40 year- old to be less mature than a 30 year- old. But then, there are certain things that can differ if the same person is given another 10 years.
Abeg, I want a complete matured man for a husband and not all these low waist trouser wearing  boys.


Disclaimer

Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.