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If only we can tell the truth

By Folake Aina

Women! come on now? I read all you had to say. I do not disagree with you all. I am so much behind you  but we must be able to tell the truth to one another. The reason why too many people miss it is because they get the wrong advice and wrong counsel. No one stands for the truth any more.  That is why we all thank God for ‘Woman to women”. All I am saying is that let us all stop the unnecessary fighting that is going on all over.

I am so sure that  we would not have this many broken marriages and broken relationships  if we had many people who stood for the truth. You all know that I do not stand for patching up a relationship or pretending all is alright in public when of a truth hell is going on behind closed doors. That is not living at all. Of a truth you are  wasting the only life that you have, when in reality the two of you could be having a ball if you set your mind to it. Like I always say, it is a mindset. I know many people who say that they cannot forgive this or that.

Listen to me…. We all own our minds. Forget about what people will say . The problem with most people is that they are so bothered about the opinions of others.  “What would people say if they heard that I allowed so and so to get away with this. The truth? It is not their life. It is yours. If you choose to forgive and forget and be happy, I believe you made a good choice.

Alright, let us get to the nitty gritty. What is the worst a person can do to you. The only thing that I say cannot be allowed is murder. I know I always tell you all not to condone abuse. I say, if violence sets into a relationship….That is really bad. That is really the most degrading thing human beings can do to  each other. But I have seen a man hit his wife, and he regretted it for the rest of his life. He repented, she forgave him, and today , they are enjoying  bliss like you can ever imagine. I know another man who hit his wife, he regretted it, he repented, asked for forgiveness, but she would not hear of it.

That was the end of the marriage. That experience changed this man so much and no matter what he promised, the woman would not hear him. She just had to leave. Anyway, the man is married to someone else today, and he has never raised his hand to beat her especially because of his experience with the first woman. They are very happy together. This other woman could have been the first one who left if only she gave the man a second chance. That is not to say that I do not know that there are some extreme situations where separation is inevitable.  No excuse for abuse at all. Only animals should operate violence.  In most cases though, the woman feels she is still young and there are guys out there, so she just want to leave (no matter what anyone has to say) so she can go and enjoy the good life or the man just feels he wants out so he can go out and have a good time. Most of these people eventually find out that there is no life out there, but it is too late. The other party is not waiting for them.  Get things together before it gets out of hand!!!!

There is absolutely nothing out there. If you do have your own man, make the best out of each other and make up your minds together to make each other happy, and to be happy.
Of course I know the worst a man can do to a woman in a relationship. Of course I know how it hurts. All I am saying is that if for any reason, you have some space in your heart to forgive all that, and you see for sure that the man has repented and would love a second chance, why not give him that chance. What I do not understand is for a woman to say she is moving on, and to know that she still has feelings for this man, she is still jealous  when she hears that the man is talking to someone else.. His business is still your business. You still want to look smashing any time you know he will be somewhere.

Instead of that war that you are starting or fighting, why don’t you just give the relationship another chance.
I believe moving on is not even fighting and warring. It is brushing the guy totally off and refusing to say a single bad word about him…. (Even if it is for the children’s sake) and looking everywhere but where he is. If you must keep talking about him, and about what he did and did not do, you are not moving on. If you cannot move on, and you still feel you need each other, by all means work things out. You might have to pray a little, but it is workable. Best of luck


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